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Old 06-17-2016, 08:22 AM
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Default New Weight-Loss Device Sucks Food Directly Out of Your Stomach

Quote:
New Weight-Loss Device Sucks Food Directly Out of Your Stomach

Though it bears some resemblance to a Tim and Eric sketch, the AspireAssist is a very real medical device, approved by the FDA for installation in people 22 or older “with a body mass index of 35 to 55, and who have failed to achieve and maintain weight loss through non-surgical weight-loss therapy.” It allows patients to drain predigested food from their stomachs into a nearby toilet.

Installing the AspireAssist starts with surgeon making a hole in the abdomen. It’s a bit like a colostomy, but instead of poking a portion of the stomach through the skin, a tube is installed connecting the stomach to a “skinport” outside the body. According to the manufacturer, the procedure takes only 15 minutes, and the whole device can be removed in 10.

Shortly after eating, patients are supposed to connect the skinport to an outboard device and a bag of water. It goes like this:

·Open valve

·Drain food into toilet

·Force water back into the stomach

·Repeat for five to ten minutes until “up to 30% of your meal” is gone

Aspire advises patients to “chew carefully and eat mindfully”... you know, to keep the tube from getting blocked with food bits. Despite how easy Aspire make sit sound, the FDA warns that patients using the AspireAssist will need “frequent medical visits” and “frequent monitoring by a health care provider.” The FDA really can’t stress how much maintenance this thing requires. And because it doesn’t drain your stomach completely, get ready to spend twice as much time in bathrooms.
I so wish this was the Onion...
I mourn for the US.
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  #2  
Old 06-17-2016, 12:32 PM
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Wow. I'd rather focus on smaller portions.

Another brainstorm I read about is a balloon device inserted into the stomach. It's then inflated to reduce the volume of the stomach so that one feels full on less food. I suppose it's less invasive than a surgical stomach reduction, but, again, smaller portions is a lot cheaper and would work just as well.

Over eating and consequent obesity is both a cultural and a psychological issue. It's a perversion of medicine to design such modalities when the real problem is in the patient's head.
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