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Stoner
05-05-2007, 12:26 AM
Hello, and thank you for calling the Mental Health Institute

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly

If you have multiple personalities, press 2, 3 and 4.

If you suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, press 5 but do it v-e-r-y- s-l-o-w-l-y and carefully.

If you are dyslexic, press 6. Now press 9. Now press 6. Now press 9. Now press 6.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you have short term memory loss, press 8. If you have short term memory loss, press 8. If you have short term memory loss, press 8.

If you have schizophrenia, listen very carefully and a small voice will tell you the number to press.

If you have a nervous disorder, fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press a number for you.

If you are depressed, don't bother to press any numbers. No one will be able to help you anyway.

If you are paranoid, you don't need to press anything. We know who you are, we know what you want, and we know how to reach you.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, please hang up because all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Alonzo
05-05-2007, 12:30 AM
If you are paranoid, you don't need to press anything. We know who you are, we know what you want, and we know how to reach you.

I'm assuming you haven't called then.
micfranklin
05-05-2007, 12:55 AM
What buttons do you press if you're completely insane?
Pookie
05-05-2007, 02:00 AM
Ouch. I lost my first hubby to mental illness. Doesn't feel too good to be told that you were a widow at 38 because maybe someone didn't take him seriously. Sorry, not laughing here at all.
Purrs,
Alonzo
05-05-2007, 02:06 AM
Ouch. I lost my first hubby to mental illness. Doesn't feel too good to be told that you were a widow at 38 because maybe someone didn't take him seriously. Sorry, not laughing here at all.
Purrs,


I had been trying to figure out whether I just take psychology too seriously or if this really was tasteless. Seems likely to be the latter.
Pookie
05-05-2007, 02:43 AM
Thank you, I thought it was too. Just a little hurtful, is all.
Purrs,
Labrocca
05-05-2007, 05:20 AM
That was a good for a chuckle. Nice post sir.
Pookie
05-08-2007, 06:08 AM
Well, from this side, no chuckles here. Sorry. I will have to totally ignore these little "chuckles." I hope others do too. This is just not funny when you have lost one to mental illness or know people going through it.
Purrs,
wonder cow
05-08-2007, 06:11 AM
Sorry for your loss Pookie. I really don't think Stoner meant anything toward anyone personally.
Pookie
05-08-2007, 07:27 AM
Oh no, I know Stoner didn't mean anything personally. It just hit hard. Maybe sometimes we need to think before we post because we never know where another person has been. Not the politics stuff, just stuff like this. 'Tis all.
Purrs,
BoogyMan
05-08-2007, 12:02 PM
Ouch. I lost my first hubby to mental illness. Doesn't feel too good to be told that you were a widow at 38 because maybe someone didn't take him seriously. Sorry, not laughing here at all.
Purrs,


Sorry to hear that Pookie. I am pretty sure that Stoner had no idea that this would affect you adversely.

I found it very funny, but have not been in your circumstances.
Professor
05-08-2007, 04:41 PM
My sister is very bipolar. I found it funny.

I guess it depends on the reader.
wonder cow
05-09-2007, 05:28 AM
we need to think before we post because we never know where another person has been.

True.