The *Real* Conspiracies

[manders!]

CALL TO ACTION - WE MUST STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY!
THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper?
Groceries are heavier?
And, everything is farther away?

Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me!

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY NOW -even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilizedthese days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is tell everyone I know that WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.



PS: I typed this in larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were.

[San Diego John]

:clapper:

[micfranklin]

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper?
Groceries are heavier?
And, everything is farther away?

1. You're getting older
2. Buy less food
3. Get some glasses.

Other than that I lol'ed.

[Angr]

:lmao::lmao:

Really sucks that I find myself relating to a bunch!!

[Boots]

I was having similar issues with my mirrors. Someone has been systematically replacing my mirrors with some of those funhouse mirrors in my house. I've since removed all of them and find that my butt has gotten smaller as a result.

[Scribbler1]

I was having similar issues with my mirrors. Someone has been systematically replacing my mirrors with some of those funhouse mirrors in my house. I've since removed all of them and find that my butt has gotten smaller as a result.I have a mirror like that. It's a kind of "Dorian Gray" mirror, where the image seems to be getting older and grayer every time I look in it to shave.

Glad I don't look like that.

[jamesfarnando]

wow! thats all i wanted to write:madlaugh:

[potter]

That's an impressive thread ressurection noob... :)

[PatrickHenry]

I don't even remember this thread...

[Road Warrior]

Conspiracy theories are like television wrestling; slightly entertaining but only idiots believe them.

http://forum.sbrforum.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=55936&d=1366309547

http://www.davidicke.com/images/stories/August20129/catconspiracy.jpg

[PatrickHenry]

:rolleyes:Conspiracy theories are like television wrestling; slightly entertaining but only idiots believe them.

Right because there's no such thing as criminal conspiracy,

no organized crime,

nothing to see here, move along.

The RICO statutes were just a waste of Congressional effort, lol.

Government agencies always do their best to restrain and prosecute wrongdoing

and all whistle blowers are just disgruntled former employees. :rolleyes:

[Road Warrior]

:rolleyes:

Right because there's no such thing as criminal conspiracy,

no organized crime,

nothing to see here, move along

Dude, if you can't see the difference between the "conspiracy" to kill bin Laden and the Star Chamber planting tracking devices in your butt, I can't converse with you.

[3rdHeaven]

Dude, if you can't see the difference between the "conspiracy" to kill bin Laden and the Star Chamber planting tracking devices in your butt, I can't converse with you.

But you never made any such distinction when you said..

Conspiracy theories are like television wrestling; slightly entertaining but only idiots believe them

which was what PH was replying to. See the point was that not all conspiracy theories are false, and in fact courts use the term a lot. Anyone can conspire. Perhaps you should be more careful in your wording?

[Road Warrior]

But you never made any such distinction when you said..

My apologies. All the intelligent people I know knew the difference between conspiracies and "conspiracy theorists". My mistaking for making an assumption here. :embarrased:

A conspiracy is a plot such as killing bin Laden.

A "conspiracy theorist" thinks black helicopters are flying over his house monitoring his thoughts, hence the need for an aluminum beanie.

http://www.privateinvestigator.cc/images/Aluminum%20Foil%20Deflector%20Beanie.jpg

Whenever I talk about "conspiracy theorists" I'm talking about the nut jobs in the aluminum beanies, not real world plots which are eventually leaked out or released to the public.

[3rdHeaven]

My apologies. All the intelligent people I know knew the difference between conspiracies and "conspiracy theorists". My mistaking for making an assumption here. :embarrased:
...

Again I remind you that is not what you said. Here is what you said..

Please note you did not use the praise Conspiracy Theorists..

Conspiracy theories are like television wrestling; slightly entertaining but only idiots believe them.

A Conspiracy theory is just that. It could be regarding any thing as any one can conspire.

Your attempt to associate all who believe any conspiracy theory crazy is duly noted. I was just giving you an opportunity to correct yourself because as u know, some of those conspiracy theories turn out to be true lol, and your blanket statement is rather silly.

[PatrickHenry]

Road Warrior, I am kinda curious...

Don't answer if you had rather not,

but I am wondering what you think of the events now known as the Tonkin Gulf Incident?

[Road Warrior]

Road Warrior, I am kinda curious...

Don't answer if you had rather not,

but I am wondering what you think of the events now known as the Tonkin Gulf Incident?

The one on August 2 was an actual attack. The one on the 4th was ghost images. A perceived attack, but in error. Much like the shooting down of Iran Air Flight 655, over the Persian Gulf on 3 July 1988, during a skirmish with 8 Iranian gunboats was perceived to be an air attack element.

Shit happens in combat situations. What the government does with it after that is up to them, but, as we know from the Gulf Of Tonkin incident, the truth wills out.

[Road Warrior]

Please note you did not use the praise Conspiracy Theorists..



A Conspiracy theory is just that. It could be regarding any thing as any one can conspire.


They are synonymous in my mind. Someone mentions "conspiracy theory" and I think "nut job". YMMV

[3rdHeaven]

They are synonymous in my mind. Someone mentions "conspiracy theory" and I think "nut job". YMMV

Oh I get that's what u think. I just wanted to give u an opportunity to correct yourself, because you don't usually use such a broad brush. :)

[Road Warrior]

Oh I get that's what u think. I just wanted to give u an opportunity to correct yourself, because you don't usually use such a broad brush. :)

Thanks, but I'm good with it.

I get you are a bit of a conspiracy theorist yourself and, IMO, are seeking to legitimize your opinions about star chambers, Zionists, secret messages to the UN troops painted on the backs of road signs and such, but the fact remains, the world isn't quite that mysterious. I've worked with our government for decades now and, frankly, I'm surprised we do as good as we do because a lot of them are fuck ups.

[3rdHeaven]

Thanks, but I'm good with it.

I get you are a bit of a conspiracy theorist yourself and, IMO, are seeking to legitimize your opinions about star chambers, Zionists, secret messages to the UN troops painted on the backs of road signs and such, but the fact remains, the world isn't quite that mysterious. I've worked with our government for decades now and, frankly, I'm surprised we do as good as we do because a lot of them are fuck ups.

Me, nah. But I don't like painting with a broad brush. Not my style. Personally I find those who excuse every thing that sounds crazy just as crazy as those who believe every thing that sounds crazy. I'm like, ok, let's take a look at this. Then decide, if I can. I question every thing.

[Road Warrior]

Broadbrushes can be used effectively, but they are only one of a selection of tools by the painter. If you want to paint a fence using only a 1-inch brush, that's your choice.

[3rdHeaven]

Broadbrushes can be used effectively, but they are only one of a selection of tools by the painter. If you want to paint a fence using only a 1-inch brush, that's your choice.

Ok Karate Kid!

[Road Warrior]

A great movie! The original, of course. The remake was okay, but Pat Morita was the perfect "Mr. Myagi".

http://revivingidentity.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/mr-miyagi-the-karate-kid-630-75.jpg

[PatrickHenry]

A great movie! The original, of course. The remake was okay, but Pat Morita was the perfect "Mr. Myagi".

Nah, the remake sucked.