Cousin It
01-04-2007, 07:27 PM
Representative Pelosi will mark her installation as the Speaker of the House with a four-day celebration. “This is a big deal,” the California Democrat’s spokesman Brendan Daly declared. “We’ve never had a woman Speaker before.”
The day after New Year’s Day, Pelosi will visit the Vatican, where she hopes to be coronated by the Pope. “No woman has ever been coronated by a Pope,” Pelosi said. “This ceremony will solidify the importance of my ascension.”
The next day, to show the common people that God backs the Democrats, Pelosi will attend morning Mass at Trinity University in Washington. That evening, she will be feted at a dinner at the Italian Embassy, where Tony Bennett will sing “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” while his back-up singers simulate gay sex acts. After dinner, a bong will be passed around.
On day three, Representatives who hope to keep their seats will be invited to kiss the hem of Speaker Pelosi’s skirt. At noon, the House will convene to formally elect Pelosi Speaker. That night, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee will hold a fund-raiser where 1,200 lobbyists will pay to enjoy performances by Jimmy Buffett, Carole King and others.
On January 5, Pelosi will host an “open house” – by invitation only – at the Cannon Office Building.
The festivities are “more than just a party,” according to Daly. “Pelosi is grabbing the moment to present herself as the new face of the Democratic Party and to restore the party’s image as one hospitable to illegal immigrants, broken families, sexual-deviants, welfare-recipients, terrorists, and the gullible majority of voters.”
A discordant note was heard when al-Qaeda declined Pelosi’s invitation to participate in the celebration. “Pelosi and the Democrats act as if it is they who won the midterm elections,” al-Qaeda No. 2 man, Ayman al Zawahri complained. “The Mujahideen -- the Muslim Ummah’s vanguard in Afghanistan and Iraq -- are the ones who won, and the American forces and their Crusader allies are the ones who lost.”
Zawahri called on the Democrats to share power him and Osama bin Laden. “And if you don’t refrain from the foolish American policy of backing Israel, occupying the lands of Islam and stealing the treasures of the Muslims, then we will kill you,” he said.
Daly called al-Qaeda’s rejection of the invitation “disappointing.” “We had hoped that our shared revulsion for the Bush Administration would provide a framework for cooperation,” Daly said. “Maybe after Bush is impeached and turned over to them they’ll see we’re really on the same side.”
Arizona Conservative (http://www.azconservative.org/Semmens1.htm)
The day after New Year’s Day, Pelosi will visit the Vatican, where she hopes to be coronated by the Pope. “No woman has ever been coronated by a Pope,” Pelosi said. “This ceremony will solidify the importance of my ascension.”
The next day, to show the common people that God backs the Democrats, Pelosi will attend morning Mass at Trinity University in Washington. That evening, she will be feted at a dinner at the Italian Embassy, where Tony Bennett will sing “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” while his back-up singers simulate gay sex acts. After dinner, a bong will be passed around.
On day three, Representatives who hope to keep their seats will be invited to kiss the hem of Speaker Pelosi’s skirt. At noon, the House will convene to formally elect Pelosi Speaker. That night, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee will hold a fund-raiser where 1,200 lobbyists will pay to enjoy performances by Jimmy Buffett, Carole King and others.
On January 5, Pelosi will host an “open house” – by invitation only – at the Cannon Office Building.
The festivities are “more than just a party,” according to Daly. “Pelosi is grabbing the moment to present herself as the new face of the Democratic Party and to restore the party’s image as one hospitable to illegal immigrants, broken families, sexual-deviants, welfare-recipients, terrorists, and the gullible majority of voters.”
A discordant note was heard when al-Qaeda declined Pelosi’s invitation to participate in the celebration. “Pelosi and the Democrats act as if it is they who won the midterm elections,” al-Qaeda No. 2 man, Ayman al Zawahri complained. “The Mujahideen -- the Muslim Ummah’s vanguard in Afghanistan and Iraq -- are the ones who won, and the American forces and their Crusader allies are the ones who lost.”
Zawahri called on the Democrats to share power him and Osama bin Laden. “And if you don’t refrain from the foolish American policy of backing Israel, occupying the lands of Islam and stealing the treasures of the Muslims, then we will kill you,” he said.
Daly called al-Qaeda’s rejection of the invitation “disappointing.” “We had hoped that our shared revulsion for the Bush Administration would provide a framework for cooperation,” Daly said. “Maybe after Bush is impeached and turned over to them they’ll see we’re really on the same side.”
Arizona Conservative (http://www.azconservative.org/Semmens1.htm)