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PittsburghAfterDark
03-30-2006, 02:49 PM
Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???
by Josephine Hammond, Onyx Magazine Reader

Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.

That?s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them.

Don?t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja?Quan Diante?, you?re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner. Our Black men face enough challenges.

I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that ?convey pride in their African Heritage?. We?re way off the mark. I?ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.

Notice how neither of those names had a ?quita? in it? Or an ?eisha?? Or more than four syllables? That?s because even in the motherland, they don?t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture.

I?ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei?sha, or any other of the ?colorful? monikers we?re pinning on brand new precious lives.

Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We?ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can?t pronounce it either), you?re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.

We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and ?beat the odds.? Well, guess what? Often times, the ?odds they have to beat? is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui?sheia Sha?qu?an Tai?isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.

Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn?t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.

You?re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says ?Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer?? When? You don?t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn?t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won?t be taken seriously. I?ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ?non-existent? or invisible, so they talked like I wasn?t even in the room. I hear everything they say.

When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ?weave? jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ?bottom of the pile?. If they do hire you, you?re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won?t be embarrased by you. I?ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront.

We don?t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don?t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi?quita and I forgot to capitalize the ?S? and left the little accent mark off the first ?i? - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha?mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that?s OUR fault, parents. She wouldn?t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can?t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.

I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let?s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes ?quita?, ?sheika?,?eisha?, ?niqua?, ?quan?...any suffix with the letter ?Q?. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.

And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don?t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.

Amen. Now pass the cornbread.
Onyx Magazine (http://www.onyxmagazine.com/aspx/oped_babynames.aspx)

Labrocca
03-30-2006, 04:15 PM
Yeah silly names like "Condoleeza" are simply horrible! lol....truth be told though many african american names are over the top...even in my family my nieces and nephews have names I can't remember simply because they are too odd.

Alonzo
04-07-2006, 09:55 PM
I remember npr did a special on this a couple years ago. I remember 1 person who said she had difficulty finding any job since no one took the name seriously. She eventually found one working at a bank, but said her customers react differently when they hear the name. Another guy on there changed his name so it sounds more respectable.

My thing is we shouldn't be making statements in names. If a person wants to make a statement then that should be their own choice, parents shouldn't force it on the kids as it can be a disadvantage in their future, one that they wouldn't have otherwise chosen.

AmyNelson
04-08-2006, 08:10 AM
Is it ok to disagree here? And not be called a troll?

Because I totally disagree. I have a special interest in names, and have a baby names site too.
People want to give a unique name to their child, rather than it be John Smith the 356502341th.
If people are creative, as long as the name isnt actually offensive and is legal, then it should be accepted. All names came from somewhere, biblical names have been used for hundreds of years and a lot of them are not easy to spell or pronounce.

The bigger a population, the more people want their child to be special and not just another duplicate name.

I think there are more problems for kids when there are 4 same names in the classroom, than having a unique name.

Alonzo
04-08-2006, 11:23 AM
But isn't there a difference between "should be accepted" and "is accepted"?

Labrocca
04-08-2006, 11:54 AM
African Americans already have disadvantages to work with. It's a disservice to also give them illegible names. That pretty much sums up the article. Yeah all parents want to give unique identities to their children...but that's bull. We are all pretty much the same.

AmyNelson
04-08-2006, 02:01 PM
You may be pretty much the same, but I'm not ;)


Just because people are disadvantaged doesn't mean that they should be criticised for naming their kids what they want.
They are making a free choice.

Alonzo
04-08-2006, 02:15 PM
I think he meant biologically the same.

But if you accept that people are viewed differently depending on the name they have, then how is it an issue of whether that's right or not? No ones saying they should be treated differently. They're saying parents should force their kids to have a unique name when it could harm them. Making statements like that should be the childs choice.

AmyNelson
04-08-2006, 02:42 PM
I assume you meant 'should not'.
People can always abbreviate, or change their name too.

There are millions of Mikes, Daves, TJs, etc.

Personally I think Junior is worse than most things you could name your kid. It gives the impression of a mini-me.

Labrocca
04-08-2006, 04:50 PM
Just because people are disadvantaged doesn't mean that they should be criticised for naming their kids what they want.

Yet in your next post you say..

Junior is worse than most things you could name your kid. It gives the impression of a mini-me

And my impression that we are all the same is NOT biological. Everyone likes to pretend they are such unique individuals and oh so very different. I think that's crap. The older I get the more patterns and similarities that I see. Yeah there are differences between people...but someone out there in the 5 billion people..is another you.

A name is just name but first impressions mean everything in this world. Your name is normally the first thing people know about you. If your name is Jenqiaually you have an uphill battle and that's the arguement from the originally posted article.

Be aware my sons are Nick and Ryan..my daughters are Ember and Fawn. My sons have normal everyday names. I gave my daughters slightly different names but they are both common words with common spelling and simple pronunciation. Maybe one day extreme names will be the norm but currently it's not.

AmyNelson do you have any children? Would you mind telling us their names if you do?

AmyNelson
04-08-2006, 05:26 PM
I never say my kids names online.
There is no contradiction in what I said, Junior is not an unusual name as the original topic was about.

Don't really like arguing online, bit pointless, so I will leave while the goings not too bad.

Labrocca
04-09-2006, 12:52 AM
I respect that if you don't want to say your kids name online. Could you give us an idea of their names? Are they Judeo-Christian names? Or something original?

Also I am not sure if you missed this point but this is a debate forums. The whole point of this site is to argue. :-)