Your Wish Is Granted

[ECW]

Your Wish Is Granted.

This is another fun game. It goes like this. Someone posts a wish (the person who posted before you). You grant the wish but in a perverse, twisted, or bizarre way that defeats the purpose of making the wish in the first place. Then, you make a wish for the next poster to disappoint you with.

Try to be amusing and not insulting. You have to grant the wish with the words “Your Wish Is Granted” and then state how the wish is fulfilled. If you use the quote function (located at the bottom of each post) it will eliminate a lot of confusion.

For example:

Poster 1: I wish someone would make dinner for me. I’m tired of cooking.

Poster 2: Your Wish Is Granted but they made a Brussel Sprouts casserole topped with mayo, potato chips and eggplant.

I wish (and it goes on from there)... OK. Got it? I'm first.

I wish that I had a fuel efficient vehicle.

[jafar00]

Your wish is granted, but make sure you put some air in the tyres of your new.... Bicycle :D

I wish I was sitting in the Italian Café around the corner instead of this office

[preservanation]

I wish I was sitting in the Italian Café around the corner instead of this officeYour wish is granted, lukewarm raw chicken is the special du jour.

I wish this winter is mild.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted, lukewarm raw chicken is the special du jour.

I wish this winter is mild.

Your wish is granted, but then summer will feel like living on the sun.

I wish I could stay on campus just for the summer.

[Easy90]

Your wish is granted, but then summer will feel like living on the sun.

I wish I could stay on campus just for the summer.

Your wish is granted...however, your "campus" is in Baghdad, Iraq.

I wish I was 21 again, but knew what I know now.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted...however, your "campus" in in Baghdad, Iraq.

I wish I was 21 again, but knew what I know now.

Your wish is granted but be prepared to live all those bad memories over again.

I wish my oatmeal would cool so I don't burn myself again.

[AlanC]

Your wish is granted but be prepared to live all those bad memories over again.

I wish my oatmeal would cool so I don't burn myself again.

Your wish is granted, but now you need a hammer and chisle to eat it.

I wish this computer would do the typing for me.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted, but now you need a hammer and chisle to eat it.

I wish this computer would do the typing for me.

Your wish is granted but it will automatically log on to porno sites at unnecessary times.

I wish I could take a 30-minute shower.

[AlanC]

Your wish is granted but it will automatically log on to porno sites at unnecessary times.

I wish I could take a 30-minute shower.

Your wish is granted, but your hot water heater is only good for 10 minutes.

I wish I could get rid of all these porno site log ons. They aren't the good ones.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted, but your hot water heater is only good for 10 minutes.

I wish I could get rid of all these porno site log ons. They aren't the good ones.

Your wish is granted but don't look in your favorites folder....ever.

I wish I wasn't so bored.

[potter]

Your wish is granted, your house just burned down.

I wish my hair werent so grey.

[4Reaganomics]

your wish is granted, now it is white

I wish that I was eating a crab cake sandwich

[potter]

your wish is granted, now it is white

I wish that I was eating a crab cake sandwich


Your wish is granted, but the crabs are still alive.

I wish I had the day off.

[Easy90]

Your wish is granted, but the crabs are still alive.

I wish I had the day off.

Granted. Unfortunately however, it's because your boss saw you wasting time doing this on the computer, and you've been terminated.

I wish I were your boss.

[potter]

Granted. Unfortunately however, it's because your boss saw you wasting time doing this on the computer, and you've been terminated.

I wish I were your boss.

Had to make it personal and blow the entire thread didn't ya? :shame::blah:

Shmuck.......

[ECW]

I wish I were your boss.

Your Wish Is Granted as I plan to force you into early retirement through a series of stressful actions that result in the company being sued by everyone from PETA to the NRA.

I wish I had a loaf of homemade bread.

[Easy90]

Had to make it personal and blow the entire thread didn't ya? :shame::blah:

Shmuck.......

You're being a bit over-sensitive. Some people here are "burning down houses"...all in good fun, no doubt. Putz! :blah:

[Buck Laser]

Your Wish Is Granted as I plan to force you into early retirement through a series of stressful actions that result in the company being sued by everyone from PETA to the NRA.

I wish I had a loaf of homemade bread.

You have a loaf of moldy homemade bread.
I wish I were boarding a passenger train across Canada.

[ECW]

I wish I were boarding a passenger train across Canada.

Your Wish Is Granted but the train is a slow moving one and by the time you get off President Obama is just finishing off his second term and Hillary is running again.

I wish someone would mow my lawn.

[Buck Laser]

Your Wish Is Granted but the train is a slow moving one and by the time you get off President Obama is just finishing off his second term and Hillary is running again.

I wish someone would mow my lawn.
Your wish is granted, but it's mowed by my somewhat "slow" next door neighbor, whose work makes the lawn look diseased.

I wish I had the energy and fitness level I had when I was 50, and riding my bike 15 miles a day and 50 miles on Saturday and Sunday.

[NortheastCynic]

Your wish is granted, sadly it rains heavily every Saturday and Sunday for the rest of your natural life.

I wish packing all my stuff to move back to NU was easier and less time consuming.

-NC

[4Reaganomics]

your wish is granted, you were given an illegal immigrant to do it for you and were caught by the state

I wish I had a 1967 427 corvette stingray in perfect condition with low mileage

[ECW]

I wish I had a 1967 427 corvette stingray in perfect condition with low mileage

Your Wish Is Granted but it is painted hot pink and a condition of the sale is that it doesn't get repainted.

I wish I was in the pool right now.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted but your brain just fell out of your skull.

I wish I could bring my dog Lilly to work.

[GhostintheMachine]

Your wish is granted but your brain just fell out of your skull.

I wish I could bring my dog Lilly to work.

Your wish is granted but the cats have taken Lilly hostage.

I wish I could remember what logarithms are for.

[Truth_and_Power]

Your wish is granted but the cats have taken Lilly hostage.

I wish I could remember what logarithms are for.

Your wish is granted but the brain-sector that handles masturbating was overwritten by this information.

I wish I could live on mars for exactly one year.

[lily]

I wish I could live on mars for exactly one year.

Your wish is granted, however Phoenix scooped you up and you'll be spending that year being analized.

I wish someone would do my laundry.

[ECW]

I wish someone would do my laundry.

Your Wish Is Granted and I washed your g-string. I threw everything else out for being out of fashion. :nana:

[lily]

I wish I could grant ECW's wish.:nana:

[Buck Laser]

Your wish is granted, however Phoenix scooped you up and you'll be spending that year being analized.

I wish someone would do my laundry.

Analized? :madlaugh: :shock:

[preservanation]

I wish I could grant ECW's wish.:nana:Your wish is granted...but it has to do with you, a parakeet and a gallon of pudding.

I wish I knew at 18 what I know now.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, you now know how to squeeze your pimples and you will be teaching 18 year olds for the rest of your life.

I wish I had a candy bar.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but that pimple squeezing is where they get the filling for those candy bars. Yuck.

I wish that I was able to run farther and faster.

[preservanation]

I wish that I was able to run farther and faster.Your wish is granted but God only gives you so many heart beats, so you will die sooner.

I wish I had a choo choo train

[NortheastCynic]

Your wish is granted, but you're berated constantly by customers for calling it a 'choo choo train'.

I wish I could dress as well as the people in the NBA draft [:rolleyes:]

-NC

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, don't worry about that noise behind you and the big light, it will pass. :D

I wish I had a remote controlled flying robot.

[preservanation]

I wish I had a remote controlled flying robot.
Your wish is granted, but you forgot to wish for batteries.

I wish my soap had rope.

(This is the internet version of the "Monkey Paw", isn't it?)

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but the robot just killed you.
I wish I had another little cat bracelet.

[NortheastCynic]

Your wish is granted....You're serving 25 to life.

I wish I had a flat screen, 52" TV.

-NC

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but you just busted the screen when your WII controlled slipped out of your hand.

I wish I had a box of chalk.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but you have to eat it.

I wish I was rich.

[Professor]

Your wish is granted, you just married Trump.

I wish the thank you cards would write themselves.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted but be prepared for some really awkward messages.

I wish I had more food in my house.

[Muser]

Your wish is granted - sure hope you like rocky mountain oysters and headcheese.

I wish I could find the right house to buy.

[GhostintheMachine]

Your wish is granted - sure hope you like rocky mountain oysters and headcheese.

I wish I could find the right house to buy.

Your wish is granted--I will sell you it to you cheap, I just emptied its contents today. Hope you don't mind if there is still a Fed Ex stamp on it...

I wish I had some kool-aid.

[ECW]

I wish I had some kool-aid.

Your wish is Granted but I only have two flavors: sour grape and rotten apple. Unsweetened. Sorry.

I wish I had a case of cold beer.

[Muser]

Your wish is granted - a case of O'Doul's coming right up!

I wish people would learn how to freakin' drive.

[Mia]

Your wish is granted - people have learned to drive in your way on the way to wherever you want to go everyday.

I wish I could sing well.

[Muser]

Your wish is granted! You now have the ability to sing only the word "well" over and over again.

I wish I had some paper for my printer.

[AlanC]

You wish is granted, it is a 20 foot square single piece accompanied by a pair of sissors.

I wish I could get to sleep.

[preservanation]

I wish I could get to sleep.
Your wish is granted, but it will be filled with dreams of Rosie O'Donnell in a g-string.

I wish I had a pedicure.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but I will need to get a belt sander and some Kilz to do the job right.

I wish I had a hammer.

[preservanation]

Your wish is granted, but I will need to get a belt sander and some Kilz to do the job right.

I wish I had a hammer.Your wish is granted, but you'll be hammering in the morning, hammering in the evening and all over this land.

I wish I had some Kiltz, I have the legs for them.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted and I don't have a clue what you're talking about.

I wish my brother didn't turn to a maniac when he got dropped to honors classes.

[preservanation]

Your wish is granted and I don't have a clue what you're talking about.

I wish my brother didn't turn to a maniac when he got dropped to honors classes.Your wish is granted, but the medication gives him breasts.

I wish mic had a clue

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted: Mic does have a clue -- it's a pic of you in a tutu on MySpace.

I wish the phone would quit ringing.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted but that means no one will call you ever again...ever...ever.

I wish I could get my paycheck already.

[Buck Laser]

You got your paycheck all right, but it bounced.

I wish the weather would cool down.

[ECW]

I wish the weather would cool down.

Your Wish Is Granted but now winter only lasts a week. Damn global warming.

I wish today was not Friday.

[micfranklin]

Your Wish Is Granted but now winter only lasts a week. Damn global warming.

I wish today was not Friday.

Your wish is granted...so now we skip straight to Monday.

I wish I was still wrestling for my high school.

[NortheastCynic]

You're wish is granted, here's your next opponent. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Khali)

I wish I had a mansion on Beacon Hill.

-NC

[Professor]

Your wish is granted. But since you moved in the former residents decided the quality of the neighborhood was declining. You now share the neighborhood with a hilbilly couple and their 16 children.

I wish I could find my cd.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but the CD turns out to be a Lawrence Welk highlights disk. :D

I wish it was cooler in Texas today.

[Mia]

You wish is granted. But it will be 20 degrees hotter everyday for the rest of the summer to compensate. (dang - that one hurts me too, don't do that!)

I wish my home rehab project was finished.

[Buck Laser]

On the day you finish your rehab project, you will discover a MAJOR infestation of termites.

I wish I were in Rome.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but you find you are allergic to marinara.

I wish I were skiing.

[Buck Laser]

Your wish is granted, but you find you are allergic to marinara.

I wish I were skiing.
Your wish is granted. But you go to Lubbock to ski.

I wish the weather were like last summer.

[lily]

ski.

I wish the weather were like last summer.

Your wish is granted, but it will be like the last summer in the Sharahas.

I wish I had gas in my car.

[Professor]

Your wish is granted. Your rusted, dark orange pinto has a full tank.

I wish my cell phone bill was paid.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but you had to take out a second mortgage on your house to pay it.

I wish my hubby could find his business taxes stuff from last month.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but he found them at his girlfriends house.

I wish I was at my sisters.

[Buck Laser]

Granted. You are at your sister's but you find that she's gone off with a skanky motorcycle dude to "find herself."

I wish I had a big slice of cold, delicious watermelon sitting in front of me.

[preservanation]

I wish I had a big slice of cold, delicious watermelon sitting in front of me.Your wish is granted, but it was grown by a big greedy evil American Corporation.

I wish my tutu still fit.

[ECW]

I wish my tutu still fit.

Your wish is granted. Just put it on your big swelled head instead of around your waist and it should fit just fine. :dork:

I wish I had a Baptist hymnal.

[Mia]

Your wish is granted. But you now have to follow all the 'blue laws' even though no one else does anymore.

I wish I had eaten more at dinner.

[preservanation]

I wish I had eaten more at dinner.Your wish is granted, but now you'll just have more to throw up in order for you to keep your girlish figure.

I wish I had a monkey paw.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted so expect that paw to ball up into a fist real soon.

I wish I didn't have this huge scratch on my foot.

[preservanation]

I wish I didn't have this huge scratch on my foot.Your wish is granted but you'll have to go through life with only one foot.

I wish I had a malted milkshake.

[Mia]

Your wish is granted but you will have 'brain-freeze' for a month afterward.

I wish someone else would do the chores on my list that I'm ignoring.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but now you have my list of chores to do.

I wish someone would empty the dishwasher.

[preservanation]

I wish someone would empty the dishwasher.Your wish is granted, but it's done by a 300 lb plumber.

I wish I deserved my wonderful wife.

[Mia]

Your wish is granted, but it's done by a 300 lb plumber.

I wish I deserved my wonderful wife.

Your wish is granted. But you are now so full of yourself that she leaves you for someone more appreciative of her.

I wish I had new clothes.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted. Hope you like Abercrombie & Fitch

I wish there was a good rock group I could listen to.

[preservanation]

I wish there was a good rock group I could listen to.Your wish is granted, but it has to be played backwards.

I wish I could meet Rush Limbaugh.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but both of you are hauled off by the narcs.


I wish I was sleeping.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted, now here comes the tranquilizer dart.

I wish I could beat this level on my game.

[preservanation]

I wish I could beat this level on my game.Your wish is granted, but you will never beat the next level.

I wish my basement never leaks again.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted. Now your toilet's gonna overflow everytime for no reason.

I wish I was an X-Men.

[Rage]

Your wish is granted, however your current gender is not insured.

I wish I had a restart button.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but the restart button doesn't work.

I wish we had a riding lawnmower!

[preservanation]

I wish we had a riding lawnmower!Your wish is granted, but it's a goat named Flossy.

I wish the lotus tree in my front yard was gone.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but the tree is replaced with kudzu.

I wish I had a maid.

[preservanation]

I wish I had a maid.
Your wish is granted but he's a cigar chewing teamster named Moe, in fishnets.

I wish I didn't have to go to work.

(by Pookie)

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but you have to stay home because the entire sewer system in your city just backed up in your toilet.

I wish I had a good piano tuner.

PS: Good morning, Pres!

[tecoyah]

Your wish is granted...uh...I take it the same girl who plays with my organ can tune a piano...right?

I wish we had a president smarter than I am.

[Waffletush]

You wish is granted. Bush passes an Executive Order and re-elects himself to a third term. :)

I wish I had chocolate ice cream.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but it melted all over your keyboard and shorted it out.

I wish I had a self-cleaning house, not just an oven.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but it can't tell the difference betweed dirt, cats and humans........every breathing thing is gone.

I wish it would stop raining, so I could cut the bushes in front of the house.

[Rage]

Your wish is granted, now its snowing.

I wish I had a million dollars

[cronic]

I wish I had a million dollars

your wish is granted.. you have your million dollars

you decided to carry it all in cash in your briefcase, the one you accidentally forgot to take off the top of the car after you found your keys and left the bank in a happy hurry to spend your doe.. Its ok tho.. it landed in the back of my truck.. I can spend it for ya..:clapper:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wish i could be a beautiful, famous, & rich movie actress!

[Buck Laser]

Unfortunately, all that money is counterfeit, and you get nailed when you try to buy a Big Mac with a hundred dollar bill.

I wish I had a Smart Car.

[preservanation]

I wish I had a Smart Car.Your wish is granted...but it still doesn't compensate for the driver.

I wish I knew how to bake blackbirds in a pie.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but Martha Stewart is now your wife and blackbird pie is all you will ever eat for the rest of your life.

I wish my shoulder would stop hurting.

[cronic]

I wish my shoulder would stop hurting.
Your wish is granted... shoulder is now pain free - but you blew out both your knees the next day.

I still wish I could be a rich, beautiful, and famous actress!

[preservanation]

Your wish is granted... shoulder is now pain free - but you blew out both your knees the next day.

I still wish I could be a rich, beautiful, and famous actress!Your wish is granted, but then you marry Kevin Federline.

I wish my propane tank was full

[cronic]

I wish my propane tank was full

your wish is granted..to bad its the only thing left on your property due to the tornado that just ripped thru.

I wish I had an unlimited, free supply of cannabis.

[preservanation]

I wish I had an unlimited, free supply of cannabis.Your wish is granted but it's all in the form of goofy sneakers and ugly ponchos.

I wish I had new cowboy hat.

[lily]

Your wish is granted.......here is you and your new family.


http://weirdbabe.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sunsetcrochet14.jpg

I wish I had a pony

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but you have to use the super duper pooper scooper.

I wish I had a Genie.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but it's an evil genie who turns all your wishes into toenail fungus.

I wish my neighbors were quieter.

[preservanation]

I wish my neighbors were quieter.Your wish is granted, but the homicide investigation turns toward you.

I wish lily hadn't posted those stupid macrame hats.
Have a heart!

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted but next time they need to be dunce hats.

I wish lunch would come quickly.

[ECW]

I wish lunch would come quickly.

Your wish is granted, especially after eating some of your Aunt Sally's egg salad, your lunch is coming (up) very quickly indeed.

I wish it would rain some teday.

[Buck Laser]

Your wish is granted, especially after eating some of your Aunt Sally's egg salad, your lunch is coming (up) very quickly indeed.

I wish it would rain some teday.

It rained some early this morning. But it was in Austin, not San Antonio.

I wish God didn't hate ECW. :lmao:

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted now God hates you Buck.

I wish it would stay cool in the office.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but your fired and your office is now Stone Cold Creamery.

I wish it was July 20th.

[Mia]

Your wish is granted but it will be July 20th everyday forever. I hope you REALLY like it.

I wish I could keep my stray cat.

[lily]

Thank you Mia!! That's when I go North for my sisters Birthday.....and if it's everyday.........

Oh.......ok, you wish is granted, but now that's the only pet you have left.

I wish the neighbors would stop lighting firecrackers and m-80's.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, they have now moved on to half sticks of dynamite.

I wish it would rain here, and soon!

[Mia]

Your wish is granted, they have now moved on to half sticks of dynamite.

I wish it would rain here, and soon!


Your wish is granted. But it's raining cats and dogs. And you have to keep them all. :nana:

I wish my beer would stay cold.

[preservanation]

I wish my beer would stay cold.Your wish is granted, but you'll need an ice chipper to drink it.

I wish people would stop hating me 'cause I'm beautiful.

[ECW]

I wish people would stop hating me 'cause I'm beautiful.

Your wish is granted because now they hate you because you are as stupid as Paris Hilton.

I wish for a snowy christmas.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but your "snowy Christmas" includes Stoner.

I wish I could see the ocean.

[cronic]

Your wish is granted, but your "snowy Christmas" includes Stoner.

I wish I could see the ocean.

you wish is granted.. now you can see the Ocean and the 40 foot tall tidal wave `heading straight at you.

I wish I could crap gold nuggets...:lmao:

[AlanC]

you wish is granted.. now you can see the Ocean and the 40 foot tall tidal wave `heading straight at you.

I wish I could crap gold nuggets...:lmao:


You can and you are now in a 4X4 cell crapping nuggets all day for the government.

I wish I could play golf as well as I think I should.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but now Tiger Woods has put out a contract on you.

I wish I had a grape sno-cone.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but it's spiked with arsenic and the hospital got shut down for unsanitary conditions.

I wish Lilly wouldn't knock me over when I come home, LOL!!

[lily]

Your wish is granted......now I'm standing behind the door with a butcher knife.

I wish I had a sharp butcher knife.

[Pookie]

LMAO! That was good, Lily. Ouch!

Your wish is granted. Unfortunately you just bled to death by using it to pick your teeth.

I wish I had a million dollars.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but the new Obama government has taken 99% in taxes.

I wish lily would stop stealing my butcher knives.

[ECW]

I wish lily would stop stealing my butcher knives.

Your wish is granted so now you will have something to slit your wrists with when Obama wins the presidency.

I wish someone would clean out my gutters from all the leaves.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but it's a couple of drunks who do it. They fall off the roof and sue you to pieces.

I wish I could fly again.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but a pack of beavers just made a dam with them and your sewer line is now backed up.

I wish I had a pedicure.

[AlanC]

Your wish is granted, but there are easier ways to do it than sticking your feet in the back of your lawn mower.

I wish I had time to go to a movie tonight.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but it's a horrible B-rated movie and you barfed because the popcorn was a month and two weeks old.

I wish I could get a co-worker to help out more so my knees and hips don't hurt so much from crawling under trailers and pin locking them.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but your coworker brought more trailors.

I wish I didn't have an appointment tomorrow.

[Buck Laser]

You don't have an appointment any more. They lost all your records, but they're gonna send you a bill anyway.

I wish I had one of those neat plastic kayaks, just big enough for me and my dog.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but that means that you have to spend 10 hours on the lily-cam.

I wish that gas were cheaper.

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but your vette was stolen.

I wish the in word association thread I could think up words with more than 3-4 letters, so that box doesn't come up saying I need 5 letters.

[ECW]

I wish the in word association thread I could think up words with more than 3-4 letters, so that box doesn't come up saying I need 5 letters.

Your wish is granted but all the longer words you can think of are downright vulgar.

I wish people would remember to quote who they are granting their wish to so it wouldn't be so confusing.

[Buck Laser]

I wish people would remember to quote who they are granting their wish to so it wouldn't be so confusing.
Your wish is granted. I will henceforth quote the names of previous wishers, but it will be in an unbreakable cipher.

I wish mioap pcbvq loymu zsrek kkswc 7 ycmbp aqnze.

[preservanation]

I wish mioap pcbvq loymu zsrek kkswc 7 ycmbp aqnze.Your wish is granted, but you run out of peanut butter and the canary flies away.

I wish my peppers would start coming in.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but your peppers come in behind your ears. :D

I wish that preservanation's peppers would come in some more!

[preservanation]

I wish that preservanation's peppers would come in some more!Your wish is grated, but preserva the pepperman shows up at your door and spits seeds in your eye.
I wish Boogy had a lick of fashion sense.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but now that I am replete with new fashion sense I come to your home and make you go on "What Not to Wear!" :D

I wish I had a new Jet Ski.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but now that I am replete with new fashion sense I come to your home and make you go on "What Not to Wear!" :D

I wish I had a new Jet Ski.

Your wish is granted, but the engine fell out and the lake dried up.

I wish I could take my Lilly to work.

[Mia]

Your wish is granted, but the engine fell out and the lake dried up.

I wish I could take my Lilly to work.

Your wish is granted, but then everyone gets to take their dogs to work and you get mauled by a rabid one.

I wish my work for the day was done.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but then everyone gets to take their dogs to work and you get mauled by a rabid one.

I wish my work for the day was done.

Your wish is granted, but tomorrow you have five days' worth of work waiting for you.

I wish my check was larger.

[lily]

I wish my check was larger.

Your wish is granted, it's now billboard size.

I wish this storm that has been building all day would just start already!

[Mia]

Your wish is granted, it's now billboard size.

I wish this storm that has been building all day would just start already!

Your wish is granted. Oops - there goes your roof!

I wish my whatever-he-is could act like an adult for 30 minutes straight.:help:

[lily]

Your wish is granted, but whatever he is now acting like an adult in your living room.


I wish this phone would stop ringing.

[Mia]

Your wish is granted but then no one ever calls you again and you get very depressed.

I wish my house was cleaner.

[cronic]

Your wish is granted but interest rates went up 5 points and now your house is gonna get repo'd

I wish I had a large rootbeer float w/ a splash or maraschino cherry in it

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but the cherries were just recalled for salmonella.

I wish whomever stole my Vette would bring it back.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but the cherries were just recalled for salmonella.

I wish whomever stole my Vette would bring it back.

Your wish is granted, but it is completely dismantled and you have to put it back together with only a screwdriver.

I wish I had an idea of what I want to fix for dinner tonight.

[potter]

Your wish is granted, you're having roadkill.

I wish I was in the mountains camping

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, you're having roadkill.

I wish I was in the mountains camping

Your wish is granted, but it's rained for eight days straight and you and your campsite got washed down the mountain in a massive mudslide.

I wish I could shoot a co-worker of mine.

[ECW]

I wish I could shoot a co-worker of mine.

Your Wish Is Granted. I'll write to you on Death Row. I promise.

I wish I could go swimming.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but I you just swam through a warm spot.

I wish I had a weather machine.

[micfranklin]

Your wish is granted but you might end up causing tornadoes when you least expect it.

I wish I could get some starbucks.

[preservanation]

I wish I could get some starbucks.Your wish is granted but you have to pay HC insurance for the oozing sore of the teenager who served you.

I wish our cat wasn't such a slut.

[lily]

I wish our cat wasn't such a slut.

Your wish is granted, her hormone level is now down because she's going to have kittens.

I wish I didn't have to fill syringes tonight.

[ECW]

I wish I didn't have to fill syringes tonight.

Your Wish Is Granted but the syringes are filled with saline solution to enlarge the implants... uh, was I supposed to mention those? I forget. Sorry.

I wish I had some birthday cake.

[Mia]

I wish I had some birthday cake.


Your wish is granted. But Pres is going to jump out of it with no clothes on. :scared:


I wish I had a better stereo system and more music to play on it.

[ECW]

I wish I had a better stereo system and more music to play on it.

Your Wish Is Granted but now you have a cool hi-fi set with every record that Barry Manilow ever made.

I wish I had some sparklers for the 4th.

[TurnBackTheClock]

Your Wish Is Granted but now you have a cool hi-fi set with every record that Barry Manilow ever made.

I wish I had some sparklers for the 4th.

Granted, but it's the 4th of August and you have to stand there like a dummy and wait another 11 months to use them.


I wish I didn't have holes in my pockets.

[ECW]

I wish I didn't have holes in my pockets.

Your Wish Is Granted but when you mom sewed up the holes your hands were still in your pockets and then you got arrested for fondling yourself in public. (Way to jump in there, noob.)

I wish the weather would cool off some.

[lily]

I wish the weather would cool off some.

Your wish is granted, but you and your surrounding neighbors are using your air-conditioner to do it.

I wish I was up North already and didn't have to drive to get there.

[Buck Laser]

You got up north quicker than you expected because the storm blew you and your house all the way up north.

I wish my wife would give me a balloon ride for my birthday.

[Pookie]

You got up north quicker than you expected because the storm blew you and your house all the way up north.

I wish my wife would give me a balloon ride for my birthday.

Your wish is granted, but it is rigged to crash and kill you, just after she took out a million-dollar life insurance policy on you.

I wish we had a riding lawnmower.

[Mia]

I wish we had a riding lawnmower.


Your wish is granted, but it's designed to ride you while you cut the grass with your teeth.

I wish that phones and computers had breathalyzers sometimes.

[tecoyah]

Your wish is granted...but you cannot read this until you Sober up, and don't even bother to pick up the damn Phone.



I wish women understood just how stupid we men are...and adjusted for it!

[Mia]

I wish women understood just how stupid we men are...and adjusted for it!

Your wish is granted. We adjust by never speaking to you again except to tell you what to do.

I wish I knew a better way to adjust to the stupidity of men. :ponder:

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but you just became a lesbian so you don't have to worry about it.

I wish my hubby would take my car to work tonight.

[ECW]

I wish my hubby would take my car to work tonight.

Your Wish Is Granted but he left the car there in the parking lot with the keys in the ignition and somebody stole it while the security guard who was supposed to be watching it was in the breakroom grabbing a Coke.

I wish I had a Coke.

[Mia]

Your wish is granted, but it's the only thing you get to drink for the rest of your life.

I wish my laundry was done.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but the colors were mixed with the white stuff and now everything is an odd shade of pinky-mauve.

I wish were not 105 degrees here today!

[lily]

I wish were not 105 degrees here today!


You rwish is granted. It's now 120 degrees.

I wish I was still up North.

[Buck Laser]

You've been up north for four weeks now, waiting for a car part to be shipped from China so you can get back on the road! Thus, your wish is granted.

I wish I hadn't had that second beer at dinner this evening.

[ECW]

I wish I hadn't had that second beer at dinner this evening.

Your wish is granted but it's really hard to undrink beer unless... nah... you wouldn't want it after that happened.

I wish the doves would leave my oak trees.

[lily]

I wish the doves would leave my oak trees.

Your wish is granted, they are now all moved to the roof of your car.

I wish someone would empty the dishwasher.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted, but that "somebody" is a hyperactive monkey that throws dishes.

I wish I could find my damn Ipod! Grrrr!

[ECW]

I wish I could find my damn Ipod! Grrrr!

Your wish is granted, but that somebody that found it is a hyperactive monkey that throws dishes. Grrr.

I wish I had time to read a book or two.

[Mia]

I wish I had time to read a book or two.

Your wish is granted. You have time because you lost your job.

I wish Boogy would quit whining about the heat. :p

[ECW]

I wish Boogy would quit whining about the heat. :p

Your Wish Is Granted but now he's complaining about the political heat his side is experiencing. :evil:

I someone would clean out my gutters.

[lily]

I someone would clean out my gutters.

Your wish is granted, but now beavers have built a dam and your sewer line is backed up.

I wish ECW would make a diferent wish than he did a couple of pages ago.:lmao:

[cronic]

Your wish is granted, but now beavers have built a dam and your sewer line is backed up.

I wish ECW would make a diferent wish than he did a couple of pages ago.:lmao:

your wish is granted.. He will wish differently from now on but you will now start wishing his old wishes..lol..( its all I could come up with.. so :nana: )..lol

I wish I could have my 1972 vega back in excellent condition

[lily]

I wish I could have my 1972 vega back in excellent condition

Your wishi is granted, but it's painted hot pink.

I wish that everyone that didn't live here would go home.

[Buck Laser]

Your wishi is granted, but it's painted hot pink.

I wish that everyone that didn't live here would go home.
You were feeling pretty good about that until a large, previously unknown Native American nation shows up at your door to reclaim their burial ground, and they send YOU home.

I wish I could get my Civic Hybrid painted kickass yellow.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but the mustard will wash off in the next rain (so you should be good until October.)

I wish I had a Segway.

[ECW]

I wish I had a Segway.

Your wish is granted but everytime you ride it you do this:

82Ap_lsmzJQ

I wish I had Vincent Bugliosi's new book

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but you just remembered that you cannot read(it is little more than a trashy fantasy book anyway).

I wish it were cooler here 1st thing in the morning.

[lily]

I wish it were cooler here 1st thing in the morning.

Your wish is granted, but you are nude and your curtains are open.

I wish I had a pair of black pearl earings.

[Buck Laser]

You've got your black pearl ear ring kit: a five gallon bucket of oysters.

I wish Boogy would get all of Austin's hot weather this summer.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, really I think it is, it is crazy hot and miserable here. At least you have trees.

I wish we had trees.

[Buck Laser]

Your wish is granted. You've got trees. Poison ivy trees.

I wish Wichita Falls was part of Oklahoma.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, sort of, we are now our own country.

I wish that Austin and the surrounding areas were populaced by sane individuals! :D

[ECW]

I wish that Austin and the surrounding areas were populaced by sane individuals! :D

Your wish is granted as Austin and the surrounding areas are now recognized as the ONLY sane areas of Texas and the rest is applying to join Oklahoma as a combined state to be known as New Yokel Land.

I wish I had a fresh loaf of bread.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but the mouth-breathing knuckle-draggers in the Austin crowd's caustic comments have caused the rest of the country to chip in to dig a mote around it so none of the nuts can get out and that fresh loaf of bread now costs you $300.00. :dork:

I wish we had gators for the mote.

[Buck Laser]

Your wish is granted, but the mouth-breathing knuckle-draggers in the Austin crowd's caustic comments have caused the rest of the country to chip in to dig a mote around it so none of the nuts can get out and that fresh loaf of bread now costs you $300.00. :dork:

I wish we had gators for the mote.
You got the gators, but they all got snapped up by the new Cajun restaurants in Austin for gator stew.

I wish Ann Richards, Molly Ivins and Lady Bird Johnson were still alive. Really.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, now you are stuck listening to Ann Richards exploring her secretly desired career as a singer and Ivins and Johnson are her "pips".

I wish I had a lemur.

[lily]

I wish I had a lemur.


Your wish is granted, but he was eaten by the aligator you previously wished for.

I wish I was 18 again.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted. Now you get to go through the zits and emotionalism all over again.

I wish I had a gator-proof lemur.

[Pookie]

Your wish is granted but it just got eaten by a grizzly bear.

I wish people would stop driving like idiots! Grr!

[lily]

I wish people would stop driving like idiots! Grr!


Your wish is granted, now they all just drive with their cell phones pressed to their ear.

I wish my family wasn't so crazy.

[ECW]

I wish my family wasn't so crazy.

Your wish is granted and now everyone is in a drug-induced stupor brought on by the meds they took for their craziness.

I wish there wasn't so much traffic in front of my house.

[Buck Laser]

The huge hole the water department has dug in front of your house has now stopped the traffic, but they're working with loud tools and bright lights at night.

I wish my dog would learn to catch squirrels.

[AnnEsthesia]

The huge hole the water department has dug in front of your house has now stopped the traffic, but they're working with loud tools and bright lights at night.

I wish my dog would learn to catch squirrels.

Your wish is granted, but soon your house is infected with the fleas that the squirrel had on it... and did I mention that they are carrying the plague?

I wish that aliens would land and announce they are here once and for all.

[lily]

I wish that aliens would land and announce they are here once and for all.

Your wish is granted, but you find out your husband is an alien and now all his relatives are coming to visit.


I wish it was July 20.

[ECW]

I wish it was July 20.

Your wish is granted but you did not notice because you slept all day.

I wish breakfast was ready.

[lily]

I wish breakfast was ready.

Your wish is granted, but the dogs ate it while you were watching me sleep all day.

I wish I could sleep all day.

[Muser]

Your wish is granted - but you slept right through Publisher's Clearing House knocking on your door with a $1,000,000 check.

I wish I was skiing in the mountains.

[lily]

I wish I was skiing in the mountains.

Your wish is granted........but come on, you know how this is going to end.....with you in a cast!

I wish I didn't eat that piece of chocolate cake, I've got a sugar rush.

[ECW]

I wish I didn't eat that piece of chocolate cake, I've got a sugar rush.

Your wish is granted but now instead of a sugar rush you are having a nicotine fit AND you are hungry as hell.

I wish my lawn was mowed.

[lily]

I wish my lawn was mowed.

Your wish is granted, but in your drunken stupor you agreed to pay the kid down the street $100.00, instead of $10.00.

I wish my nose would stop itching.

[ECW]

I wish my nose would stop itching.

Your wish is granted, but in your drunken stupor you used sandpaper to scratch it and now you are left with two small holes where your nose used to be.

I wish for a cloudy day.

[lily]

I wish for a cloudy day.

Your wish is granted, but you're stuck in the house all day painting with the lights on, because you can't see.

I wish someone would paint this room.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but there was a sale on florescent lime green paint at Sherwin Williams today and, well, you got it! :D

I wish someone would paint lily's room.

[Buck Laser]

Your wish is almost granted. Just as the painter gets to the top step of the ladder, he slips, and the five-gallon can of bright purple paint splashes over the entire room.

I wish my dog Joe were just a little dumber. He knows more than I do.

[lily]

I wish my dog Joe were just a little dumber. He knows more than I do.

Your wish is granted, but he no longer reads to you, not drives you to the store.

I wish this room wasn't lime green and bright purple.

[Mia]

I wish this room wasn't lime green and bright purple.

Your wish is granted, but now everyone knows you had your room painted these colors.

I wish I didn't get a blistering sunburn this weekend.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted and you have been retroactively slathered with Robert J. Oppenheimers new SPF 10000 sunscreen. You could now possibly be whiter than Casper the Ghost.

I wish I could go to Ireland this year.

[lily]

I wish I could go to Ireland this year.

Your wish is granted.....but you have to take me with you.

I wish I didn't have to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but you are now living on the mushrooms growing under the drain from your air conditioning unit. What pretty colors the sky can be after dinner!

I wish that lily would squash that icky little bug on her sig.

[Buck Laser]

Your wish is granted--that's why the forum has been down for the last day!

I wish my younger grandson wouldn't go around pushing every button in the house.

[preservanation]

Your wish is granted.
All buttons are gone...except yours!

I wish my wife would stop blaming me when she gets mad at her car.

[Buck Laser]

Your wish is granted.
All buttons are gone...except yours!

I wish my wife would stop blaming me when she gets mad at her car.
(Hey, I don't mind him pushing my buttons!)
Your wish is granted just as she discovers you letting the air out of her tires.

I wish I were going to Oshkosh for the EAA fly-in this month.

[lily]

I wish I were going to Oshkosh for the EAA fly-in this month.

Your wish is granted.......but you are getting there by lawnmower.

I wish I knew what an EAA fly-in was.

[Mia]

I wish I knew what an EAA fly-in was.

Your wish is granted. That's ALL you know now, though.

I wish Kid Rock was playing in Dallas instead of Houston in August. I can only do so many road trips! :ponder:

[lily]

I wish Kid Rock was playing in Dallas instead of Houston in August. I can only do so many road trips! :ponder:

Your wish is granted......you just have to come to Detroit.


http://www.metacafe.com/watch/94714/kid_rock_detroit/

I wish Mia would take me to Coney Island.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted. Mia took you to Coney Island but tried to push you off the peer. Bad Mia!

I wish that I had a time machine.

[Buck Laser]

You will wake up tomorrow morning and go to your desk. Sitting in front of it will be time machine that looks just like an ordinary chair. Although it's a real time machine, I could only afford the economy model, so it takes you forward in time in perfect synch with the flow of time.

I wish Joe Bob, my 70 lb dog wasn't afraid of 7 lb dogs, while he falls in love with 170 lb dogs every day.

[ECW]

I wish Joe Bob, my 70 lb dog wasn't afraid of 7 lb dogs, while he falls in love with 170 lb dogs every day.

Your wish is granted because we took Joe Bob to an animal hypnotist and now he's not afraid of any dogs regardless of size. However, now whenever anyone claps their hands together Joe Bob immediately takes a dump.

I wish there were Klingon game shows.

[Truth_and_Power]

Your wish is granted because we took Joe Bob to an animal hypnotist and now he's not afraid of any dogs regardless of size. However, now whenever anyone claps their hands together Joe Bob immediately takes a dump.

I wish there were Klingon game shows.

Your wish is granted, you are now the focus of a new live daily Klingon game show, "Mate with a Human" where groups of hairy muscular Klingon females compete to mate with you.

I wish I was napping right now.

[Invayne]

Your wish is granted, you are now the focus of a new live daily Klingon game show, "Mate with a Human" where groups of hairy muscular Klingon females compete to mate with you.

I wish I was napping right now.

Your wish is granted but you'll never wake up again.

I wish it wasn't 100 degrees outside today.

[Truth_and_Power]

Your wish is granted but you'll never wake up again.

I wish it wasn't 100 degrees outside today.

Wish granted, now it is 100 degrees inside and 105 degrees outside.

I wish beer had essential vitamins in it.

[Buck Laser]

Okay, it's now chock-full of essential vitamins. And it tastes like horse piss.
I wish I could fill up my car's gas tank for $5.38.

[tecoyah]

Your wish is granted....I just disconnected your gas tank, and replaced it with my water bottle.


I wish Salmon weren't so Damn Fishy!

[Mia]

I wish Salmon weren't so Damn Fishy!

Your wish is granted. Now it's hairy like a mammal and tastes like feet.

I wish children had memories longer than gnats, and I could have time to type on the computer.

[ECW]

I wish children had memories longer than gnats, and I could have time to type on the computer.

Your wish is granted and now your kids remember everything and remind you constantly when you screw up. Sorry one wish per customer.

I wish the game show T&P mentioned was real.

[AlanC]

I wish the game show T&P mentioned was real.

Your wish is granted, but unfortunately, in the competition, none of the contestants survived, them being Klingons and all. So there was no one left to take off those chains.


I wish I could see the reruns of that show.

[lily]

I wish I could see the reruns of that show.

Your wish is granted, but you now have to watch te re-runs in chains....and they ain't the soft and fuzzy kind you and your wife use.:evil:

I wish I didn't have to go home tomorrow.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but they don't feed you very well in jail.

It is 10:00 p.m. and 98 degrees, I wish it were cooler here.

[lily]

It is 10:00 p.m. and 98 degrees, I wish it were cooler here.

Your wish is granted. One of your kids left the freezer door open, all your ice-cream is dripping, your meat is spoiled and your electric bill is in uor mail box.


I wish the drive home wasn't so long.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, you no longer have a long drive, but that walk is gonna be a monster.

I wish my ice-cream were not melted and I didn't have an electric bill so long they sent me a CD with a PDF on it instead of a printed bill.

[Mia]

I wish my ice-cream were not melted and I didn't have an electric bill so long they sent me a CD with a PDF on it instead of a printed bill.

You wish is granted. You are homeless in Alaska with only your unmelted ice cream to sustain you, and you won't see the sun for 6 months. You'll then wish you weren't such a whiny-butt about the heat here in the great state of Texas. :peace:

I wish my friend didn't drink all my beer.

[ECW]

I wish my friend didn't drink all my beer.

Your wish is granted but your friend is not too happy with the solution you came up with: a one way ticket to the biggest "dry" country in the world, Saudi Arabia.

I wish I could go out to eat tonight.

[BoogyMan]

Your wish is granted, but you don't find much in the dumpster that is to your liking.

I wish that there had not been a gaping hole in ISC BIND exposed today, it means I get to work all night remediating DNS.

[AlanC]

I wish that there had not been a gaping hole in ISC BIND exposed today, it means I get to work all night remediating DNS.

Your wish is granted, but now you are no longer able to speak english.

I wish all techies had their own places to talk.

[Mia]

Your wish is granted, but now you are no longer able to speak english.

I wish all techies had their own places to talk.

Your wish is granted. The place is at your house, and they never sleep.

I wish my neighbors did not enjoy making drama.