What Do I Do For Mom-In-Law?

[Pookie]

My Mom-In-Law (MIL) flew out this morning to California to be with my daughter. She has awakened, and has bad memory problems and recognition issues.
Jen did not recognize her father, or even her son. This has all of us frightened.
MIL said for me to stay here and keep on, because my elderly aunt has had another stroke, and MIL went to be with Jen. They are extremely, extremely close, almost as close as Jen and I are. Jen can tell her anything, and she understands.
MIL so far is the only one Jen recognizes. MIL showed her pics of me with Jen, and she didn't recognize me.
That broke my heart, but I know that head injuries are awful and often don't make sense to us, but I am so very grateful to MIL for being there for me.
So, since I believe this will all eventually be okay...someday...I want to do something special for MIL.
She has to come back at the end of May, construction on her new apartments will begin. That is a joint effort between her and us, and she will have a little time, then plans to go back if needed, or send me.
We had some ideas for a "thank-you," and here they are:

1. A day at a spa where she will be pampered.
2. Flowers and a generous gift certificate for OutBack, her favorite restaurant.
3. We would take her and any number of her friends for dinner at Binion's, a terrific steakhouse.
4. My personal favorite -- since my mom is dead, and MIL has been so loving and wonderful; a lovely lunch at a terrific restaurant with just us two, and a gold bracelet with "Mom" on it. I already picked out the bracelet and can order it at any time.
5. Flowers and a "coupon" from us good forever, we will spring- and fall-clean her house.

What do y'all think? Any more suggestions?
What do you do for a woman who has everything and is so generous and loving?
Hope to see your ideas here, thanks!
Purrs,
Pookie

[Truth_and_Power]

I think the outback thing sounds best because it will take atleast one night's worth of cooking off her hands while she looks after jen. Glad your daughter is on the recovery path now. Is she up and walking or were her legs injured? Wish her all the best..

[Scribbler1]

Why not two?

I like #3 over #2, as a gift certificate doesn't have the same impact as actually taking her out.

And #4 is the best, although it covers #3 as well. But no "we" in this case, as far as the bracelet goes. She's already your Husband's mom and she doesn't need to reinforce that. If it comes specifically from YOU, you will cement your relationship with her far beyond you just being the woman who married her son. I'm sure your relationship is more than that already, but the bracelet will make it seem more "official".

[PostmodernProphet]

glad to hear your daughter is out of the coma.....loss of memory may sound scary but it can be dealt with.....look at it this way....she won't remember all the screw ups and you can enjoy telling her about all the good stuff......

[jafar00]

My Mother in Law appreciated the Chinese massage I got her when I took her to Malaysia with the family for a holiday. Perhaps the Spa pampering will be nice.

Praying for Jen.

[Pookie]

Wow, all of you have been terrific! I will truly and honestly take to heart your ideas, and please, please share with me those thoughts and solutions.
I am so glad to see that maybe I wasn't too off-base and I love this input. MIL won't be back for a while, God bless her.
Now, in the meantime, I pray for Jen and the family there, I pray for MIL, but I'm a selfish mom and i do pray much more for her, she is badly injured.

Maybe a mix here? Take her to a spa, treat her to dinner, give her the bracelet, then go home and get on my knees and pray, pray pray?

What do you all think of that?

Purrs,
Pookie

[Buck Laser]

I wouldn't be too surprised if your MIL is close to my wife in age (mid 70s). I know she loves to go for a massage or a day at a spa. I have a hard time remembering to do that, because the therapeutic massages I've had have been painful. But our daughter has given her a couple, so that would be my suggestion.

[Pookie]

Wow, you all are terrific. How about this:
Flowers, the bracelet, lunch with her, a gift card for Outback, and a day at a spa? And a handwritten letter thanking her?
What do you all think of that? Will that work?
Purrs,
Pookie

Oh, thank you, Jafar. I appreciate your prayers for my lovely girl.

[Scribbler1]

Actually, that seems like a little overkill, to be honest. I think maybe you could just stick with the more intimate of expressions and do the spa and lunch (and dinner) another time.

But you know better than the rest of us what should work the best.

[Pookie]

That might be overkill. Hmmm...
How about this:
Flowers from my garden, lunch, and the bracelet, when she comes home?
Then in a few months, in August for her birthday, the spa?
Then for Christmas, how about this: handwritten note, and a coupon good for one year that says we will vacuum her house three times a week?
Hubby and I were reading this thread and because MIL has a bad back, he suggested the vacuuming. He and I both are there at her home a lot, and pass it on the way to and from work.
How does that sound? Maybe stretch out the gifts and all through the rest of the year?
Geez. What do you do for a woman who has everything, never asks for anything, loves people unconditionally, and is generous, kind, and sweet?
Yaaagh! I thought the last saint died when my own mother passed. Wrong! God blessed me with her.
So tell, me, what do y'all think?
Well, except for differing with me about my MIL being a saint. Yes, I know your Moms are saints too!
Love to all the Moms and MILs out there,
Pookie

[sam]

My vote goes for number 4; having lost your own mother I think it would mean the world to her to get a bracelet that says in effect "There are actually TWO women who earn that word in my vocabulary.

She probably already knows it, but the gesture and meaningfulness would probably touch her a great deal.

I hope your daughter continues to improve; give her time; I have little doubt she will one day recognize you.

[Scribbler1]

That might be overkill. Hmmm...
How about this:
Flowers from my garden, lunch, and the bracelet, when she comes home?
Then in a few months, in August for her birthday, the spa?
Then for Christmas, how about this: handwritten note, and a coupon good for one year that says we will vacuum her house three times a week?
Hubby and I were reading this thread and because MIL has a bad back, he suggested the vacuuming. He and I both are there at her home a lot, and pass it on the way to and from work.
How does that sound? Maybe stretch out the gifts and all through the rest of the year?When you spread it out, that sounds like the better way to me. If you do it all at once it looks more like you're paying off a debt.Geez. What do you do for a woman who has everything, never asks for anything, loves people unconditionally, and is generous, kind, and sweet?Love her back, and don't look like it's any big deal. I have found quite often that is pretty much all they really want. But your mileage may vary, of course.
Call her Mom on a regular basis. It seems a no-brainer but I know MY MIL got pretty teary-eyed when I called her that one time.

But again, ultimately, you know best.