Pookie
04-28-2008, 10:18 PM
I'm sitting here at work sniffling and sneezing my head off, and I think I have found some significant scientific reasons for having these damn things.
The cold is not a virus, for one thing. It's revenge! It's nature's way of making you totally miserable without being sick-sick.
It's nature's way of alienating your friends and family, because when you have a cold, no one in their right mind would even come near you.
It's nature's way of attracting bored cops, as you sneeze your ass off going down the freeway and almost wipe out a Winnebago. Then the nosy cop wants to know if you're crying or upset. That's usually when another monster sneeze hits you and you blow boogies all over the ticket he just handed you.
It's nature's way of changing your gender on the phone. When you answer the phone, your voice is all husky and raspy and if you're a female, the caller calls you "Sir."
And you can't email a cold to people who deserve it the most! That's another reason why it's not a virus. You can email a virus.
I think colds should be outlawed! I'm going to start a petition to the CDC and get their butts moving on this...
...as soon as I can stop sneezing.
Purrs,
Pookie
The cold is not a virus, for one thing. It's revenge! It's nature's way of making you totally miserable without being sick-sick.
It's nature's way of alienating your friends and family, because when you have a cold, no one in their right mind would even come near you.
It's nature's way of attracting bored cops, as you sneeze your ass off going down the freeway and almost wipe out a Winnebago. Then the nosy cop wants to know if you're crying or upset. That's usually when another monster sneeze hits you and you blow boogies all over the ticket he just handed you.
It's nature's way of changing your gender on the phone. When you answer the phone, your voice is all husky and raspy and if you're a female, the caller calls you "Sir."
And you can't email a cold to people who deserve it the most! That's another reason why it's not a virus. You can email a virus.
I think colds should be outlawed! I'm going to start a petition to the CDC and get their butts moving on this...
...as soon as I can stop sneezing.
Purrs,
Pookie