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micfranklin
04-15-2008, 02:47 AM
Okay here's the deal:

There's this girl I've been hanging out with for the past several months. We weren't necessarily boyfriend/girlfriend but let's just say we were close. Now we were close from September up until towards the first week of January. She went back home to Philly for winter break and for a few weeks I didn't hear from her, then just 4 days before spring semester started I woke up with a huge worry and decided to go to her house in the middle of the day in the cold, on the far west side of Baltimore County. I talked to her for maybe 5 minutes and then went home, feeling better that she's okay.

Now come the first day of semester when I meet her she was hardly making any eye contact with me, spent a lot of time on the phone and I did almost all the talking, even on the way home. Right before we parted ways that day I find out from her she's going through some personal/family type issues or "things you don't know nothing about," so I say get some rest. Turns out I wasn't causing no trouble.

Come the day after the Super Bowl she hurt my feelings, I end up punching the wall until my hand bleeds and right before we part ways again I kinda cried (quietly) while she was nearby, she asked me what was wrong and then she became sympathetic. So the next week is Valentine's Day, I'm alone because she's at work, that Friday there's a party on campus and we spend some time together Saturday, maybe because she felt bad about something.

Okay let me fast forward. Now I cannot seem to go a day without worrying about whether we're cool or not, because I told her earlier that I felt a certain way about her but now that I think about it nothing I have done since late February shows that I feel that way. And since her phone is broken so that she can't text me we rarely talk. I feel extremely guilty, I'm usually wondering whether she hates me or not (probably doesn't), I feel the need to wanna be near her all the time and it's seriously bugging me. I even looked on Wikipedia and I seem to be showing signs of anxiety, OCD, obsessive love and other stuff.

Advice? Suggestions?

PatrickHenry
04-15-2008, 02:50 AM
Ask her if she wants to get tighter with you.

micfranklin
04-15-2008, 02:56 AM
Ask her if she wants to get tighter with you.

I could but then I might really have a reason to feel guilty.

lily
04-15-2008, 03:00 AM
Mic......wouldn't you rather know than go through this hell you're putting yourself through?

PatrickHenry
04-15-2008, 03:01 AM
I could but then I might really have a reason to feel guilty.
Do you mean she might agree to be your GF and then you still couldn't spend much time with her or what?

I don't understand?

micfranklin
04-15-2008, 03:03 AM
Do you mean she might agree to be your GF and then you still couldn't spend much time with her or what?

I don't understand?

Kinda the opposite, she might not agree and that'll leave me feeling awful because we grew/have grown real close. Plus she's busy working, volunteering, on an internship and studying for a medical exam so all that put my "she's avoiding me" fears to rest.

PatrickHenry
04-15-2008, 03:11 AM
Kinda the opposite, she might not agree and that'll leave me feeling awful because we grew/have grown real close. Plus she's busy working, volunteering, on an internship and studying for a medical exam so all that put my "she's avoiding me" fears to rest.So...if she says "you're just a friend," that would hurt?

Because it's important to know what's up if you're falling in love.

If you want a love affair and this woman doesn't, it's possible to go on the next person who you find attractive...

micfranklin
04-15-2008, 03:16 AM
So...if she says "you're just a friend," that would hurt?

Because it's important to know what's up if you're falling in love.

If you want a love affair and this woman doesn't, it's possible to go on the next person who you find attractive...

Something like that. I don't know, maybe she's been considering letting me be one but I haven't asked and I'm not going to, too shy.

PatrickHenry
04-15-2008, 03:17 AM
If you don't ask when you are feeling something...you could lose her to someone else who is a bit more forward...

How would that feel?

micfranklin
04-15-2008, 03:25 AM
Well I'd be unhappier than ever before.

But I've done some things in the past few months that would not trigger a good response. I followed her to her class just so I could get something off my chest and it took forever, I've sat outside waiting for her on multiple occasions, I told her my aunt thought she was crazy and I even went up to her house in the middle of the night in the cold to speak. She even wanted me to explain a poem I wrote on Myspace earlier that week.

lily
04-15-2008, 03:42 AM
It sounds like she wants to know whats going on just as much as you do.

micfranklin
04-15-2008, 04:08 AM
I can't tell though. I didn't bother explaining it because I figured it wasn't gonna automatically make things better, but I kept it saved to my computer just in case. I've been trying to fix things since then because I know how bad I felt when she wasn't around during winter break, I'll flip out during the summer.

lily
04-15-2008, 04:22 AM
Mic.........you say you can't tell her............but if you do love her, you're going to have to do something, or sooner or later she's going to think you don't like her and move on. Being shy is one thing, getting the perfect girl is another.

If she doesn't like you as a boyfrined, then just keep in mind a good friend is also hard to find.

ViolaLee
04-15-2008, 04:22 AM
You have to talk to her about it and find out one way or the other if she wants to get more serious. Tell her how you feel. Bring her flowers. Take her to dinner. If she doesn't want to get more serious, then at least you know. You might feel bad for a while, but you're already feeling bad anyway. On the other hand, she might want to get more serious and then you won't have to feel bad anymore!

Cobra
04-15-2008, 04:23 AM
Careful, you don't wana scare her off by actin needy or obsessed.

ViolaLee
04-15-2008, 04:24 AM
Right, don't act needy. Act romantic. Act brave and strong and tell her how you feel about her.

micfranklin
04-15-2008, 04:53 AM
Mic.........you say you can't tell her............but if you do love her, you're going to have to do something, or sooner or later she's going to think you don't like her and move on. Being shy is one thing, getting the perfect girl is another.

If she doesn't like you as a boyfrined, then just keep in mind a good friend is also hard to find.

It's very weird I know, never felt this way in my life and like I said I got 'til the end of the semester to get it right. She asked me if I loved her twice earlier on and uh...I said yes. Some part of me wonders why she remembered that.

ViolaLee
04-15-2008, 05:24 AM
Love sucks, man.

:D

Enjoy it if you can!

Go Fish
04-15-2008, 05:40 AM
She clearly doesn't give a shit about you. Let her keep thinking that you are madly in love with her and go tag all of her friends. And send her pictures of it.
She's obviously sport-fucking while keeping you on a string, so have some fun with the situation. So your car gets keyed. Big deal! Life only sucks when you let it. You can't say the same about her friends.

ECW
04-15-2008, 05:41 AM
Sounds like you have what we used to call the Lovesick Blues. Miserable when you are with her. Miserable without her. Time to clear the air so your heart can breathe. Just my two cents from someone who has been there.

Pookie
04-15-2008, 06:30 AM
Well, Mic, try to talk to her. I liked Lily's and Viola's advice, and Cobra is right, too. Let her know how you feel, and see what happens.
Good luck!
Purrs,
Pookie