Picnic Table Sex

[Trish]

I confess to being totally baffled by this. I mean I've heard the old joke about some men screwing anything, including a knothole in a fence - but a picnic table?

Police: Man Had Sex With Picnic Table
Anonymous Tip Led Police To Arrest

POSTED: 2:46 pm EDT March 28, 2008
UPDATED: 3:46 pm EDT March 28, 2008

BELLEVUE, Ohio -- Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Police arrested Arthur Price Jr. after an anonymous tipster dropped off three DVDs that reportedly showed Price in the act.

According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck.

During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.

Price faces four counts of public indecency. He was freed after posting $20,000 bond, authorities said.
http://www.nbc10.com/news/15734256/detail.html

[preservanation]

This is obviously a victimless crime.
Especially when he drags the damn thing into his house.

I wonder if he sands it first to get it in the mood?

[jafar00]

Things that make you go hmmm? Things that make you go... WTF? more like.

[Truth_and_Power]

I hope he used protection!

[Osborn F. Enready]

I agree T&P.... the last thing we need is a flock of unwanted picnic tables running around....

[Trish]

Would that be a flock, a herd, or a litter?

[Osborn F. Enready]

Good question trish. ;)

[Mia]

Maybe he has objectaphilia ;-)

[Truth_and_Power]

Would that be a flock, a herd, or a litter?


I believe a large group of picnic tables is known as a reunion or a park..

[preservanation]

Would that be a flock, a herd, or a litter?

C'mon Trish.
Everyone knows they're refered to as a bevy.
Sheesh:rolleyes:

[Go Fish]

That's one picnic I won't be attending. In his defense, however, I hear that the table has really hot legs. :peace:

[preservanation]

That's one picnic I won't be attending. In his defense, however, I hear that the table has really hot legs. :peace:
Maybe, but did you see it's feet?
Holy "gunboats!"
Hooooo Boy...

[nevadamedic]

I confess to being totally baffled by this. I mean I've heard the old joke about some men screwing anything, including a knothole in a fence - but a picnic table?

Police: Man Had Sex With Picnic Table
Anonymous Tip Led Police To Arrest

POSTED: 2:46 pm EDT March 28, 2008
UPDATED: 3:46 pm EDT March 28, 2008

BELLEVUE, Ohio -- Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Police arrested Arthur Price Jr. after an anonymous tipster dropped off three DVDs that reportedly showed Price in the act.

According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck.

During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.

Price faces four counts of public indecency. He was freed after posting $20,000 bond, authorities said.
http://www.nbc10.com/news/15734256/detail.html


Ummmm, if it was in his yard, what the hell?

Gotta make his Jimmy feel sore. Good thing it was metal, I couldn't imagine getting a splinter down there during a case of the wood :)

[Go Fish]

The guy porking the picnic table clearly has issues, but who in their right mind feels compelled to record 3 discs worth of Picnic-porn?
I don't ever want to walk down that street.

[Pookie]

How can you tell if a picnic table is male or female?
This guy might know some pretty intimate stuff about picnic tables that we don't.
Purrs,
Pookie

[Thumper81]

Good thing it was metal the splinters could have hurt.

[Go Fish]

How can you tell if a picnic table is male or female?
This guy might know some pretty intimate stuff about picnic tables that we don't.
Purrs,
Pookie


If there's a cell phone on it, it's female.

[Go Fish]

Hey, I wonder if he ever invited his nosy neighbor over for a heaping helping of this stuff, because it's named after what his neighbor did.
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/103210

[Professor]

Ok I got to say all of them...


I hope he used protection!


He must go through a lot of table cloths.



That's one picnic I won't be attending. In his defense, however, I hear that the table has really hot legs.


All four of them.

[cronic]

I seen this thread when it first came out but I never opened it till now
I just assumed it was about a couple getting caught having sex on a picnic table.

sigh.. I'm not sure I'm happy now about opening this one up..lol...:lmao:



Things that make you go hmmm? Things that make you go... WTF? more like.

I will double that..ROFL...:roflmao:


How can you tell if a picnic table is male or female?
This guy might know some pretty intimate stuff about picnic tables that we don't.
Purrs,
Pookie

What about the age also of the table also?.. this could be a very "young" table..
there may be more charges on the way...
Could this guy be a Picnic Table pedophile?

[cronic]

One more question.. what if.. this man.. had built this picnic table?.. would he then have more rights to what he could or could not do with it.

[firefox]

I wonder how often he gets splinters! The worst that should happen is that he be made to clean said table to make it heigenic.

[preservanation]

Hope he cleaned the gum off first...or not.
Yuck!

[Pookie]

If he did build it, would this be incest?
Purrs,
Pookie

[firefox]

Only if the wood came from his own wood pile ;)

[Mia]

On a serious note - the guy is not just a table-offender:

On July 4, 1989, a woman complained that her 14-year-old daughter was getting ready to take a shower and found dirt on the bottom of the bathtub in their apartment. Upon checking the tub, the mother found what appeared to be shavings and then observed a drilled hole in the bathroom wall leading to a shared utility room.


After an investigation by the Tiffin Police Department, Price was caught performing a sexual act in the utility closet while looking through the hole.


He pleaded guilty to two charges of voyeurism and one count of criminal damaging. He was sentenced to four days in jail and was required to pay restitution for the damages and undergo counseling, according to the report.


Sandusky County Prosecutor Tom Stierwalt said with the Adam Walsh Act, which reclassifies registered sex offenders, voyeurism would now be considered a Tier I offense and the offender would have to register as a sex offender. But, since the incidents took place in the 1980s, Price is not considered a sex offender.
That is just one of many priors:

http://www.portclintonnewsherald.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080403/NEWS01/804030307/1002

[Pookie]

Somehow that's not surprising, Mia. I figured this guy must have had some kind of history but I was too lazy to look it up.
Hide your teenagers AND your furniture!!
Purrs,
Pookie