McCain sure win - by the detailed analysis

[wisdom person]

President nominee results will be :

1. Obama will win over Hillary, then
2. McCain will win over Obama

Why? By human face examination.

Hillary's eyes always look tired - means she is not energetic enough to be a president

Obama's lower inner lip sometimes looks purple.

Only McCain looks good. Although his cheek is little swollen, he is better among them.

8 March, 08

[Osborn F. Enready]

Wow, the future is revealed!

I think the people may win, because they may accept none of the bi-partisan criminals and vote third party.

Equally as logical anyway.....

[Scribbler1]

Can I play too?

McCain can't win because he's too jowly. He looks like an old chipmunk.

It's true! I read it in the piece of paper I just wrote it on.

[Elrathin]

Yes, but McCain scratched his butt once in public so that nulifies all your analysis WP.

[Drocket]

McCain looks good? He looks like the walking undead half the time. And what does "Obama's lower inner lip sometimes looks purple" even mean, anyway? Are you actually suggesting that voters are going to be saying, "I'm not voting for that guy - his lower inner lip sometimes looks purple!"

[Scribbler1]

Would YOU want a president meeting foreign leaders with a purple lip? The whole WORLD would join together and destroy America.

[preservanation]

Great thread, wisdom person!

1) Hillary will lose because her ankles are Huge (one could hollow them out for umbrella stands). This trait will remind Dem voters of an elephant, the GOP mascot. A death knell for her chances...

2) McCain will lose because of his years of torture, can't raise his hands over his shoulders, thus can't give the patented Nixonian double victory sign.

3) Obama will win, because his large flapping ears will carry him over the fray and land him on the White House lawn...let's hope he doesn't land in the rose bushes!

[Pookie]

None of that is correct. The UK is going to take us back because of our inability to elect a competent President, and Her Majesty hates Utah, which will be turned into a lake.
We're in trouble.
Read the facts, people; here it comes! Brush up on the curtseys and royal protocol:

John Cleese Letter to America

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

John Cleese


ROFL!!!! I have always loved this!
Purrs,
Pookie

[dgun]

Obama's lower inner lip sometimes looks purple.

That's a racist comment.

I think McCain will win also, but based on how I see the electoral votes falling and based also on how I know the vicious right wing slander machine will churn through Obama or Hillary either one.

[preservanation]

Obama's lower inner lip sometimes looks purple.

That's a racist comment.

I think McCain will win also, but based on how I see the electoral votes falling and based also on how I know the vicious right wing slander machine will churn through Obama or Hillary either one.
I probably saw the same stuff as you.
Mostly based on crossover support, right?
Either way...it's a long long way to Nov.
A lot could happen and IMO...will!

[dgun]

Mostly based on crossover support, right?

Yes. If Obama is the nominee, I think McCain gets crossover support based on his pre 2004ish reputation as being moderate and somewhat progressive and forgiveness from moderate Dems for the political necessity of McCain kissing Bush's ass these last few years. These crossover Dems will just feel that Obama does not have enough time on the national scene and experience when compared with McCain.

If Hillary is the nominee two things happen: (1) The right is energized in opposition (which is really quite silly since Hillary is by far the best Republican running minus her lies about Socialized Medicine) (2) Obama supporters and independents are strongly disenchanted and alienated due to the perception of Hillary stealing the nomination with less delegates.

And the math on this last part is as follows, if the CNN analyst is correct: if Hillary wins all the remaining primaries by a margin of 65% to 35%, she still has fewer delegates than Obama.

The Dems, have once again, screwed themselves by being now forced to choose between two likely losers, Hillary who is hated and Obama whose time has not yet come.

[4Reaganomics]

Reasons why I think McCain has the advantage.

Obama voters have not shown up in the real battleground states.

10% of republicans claim they would vote for Obama while 17% of democrats would vote for McCain

Conclusion, the electorate college system and McCain's ability to hold the base will be give him the presidency. (I pray)

[Elrathin]

There will be a Dem in office, that much is sure. McCain represents Bush and this country is tired of Bush Policies.

[4Reaganomics]

The people also don't want what the current democratic nominees are preaching. People in the end do no want complete surrender in Iraq. People do not want the government telling them what hospital and what doctors they are allowed to see. People do not want to wait in a long line for surgery when they could have purchased top coverage under a private system. People do not want their taxes raised. People do not want a blockade causing Canadian oil to go to China instead of the U.S. People do not want terrorist monitoring technology to be forbidden.

When it comes down to it, I'm pretty sure people do not want Obama policies. They just want his words

[dgun]

this country is tired of Bush Policies.

To be sure. Too bad the Democrats have once again failed the American people by not putting forth a candidate that can win.

[Scribbler1]

That's a bit premature, don't you think? First of all, we don't yet know WHO the candidate will be, and if a lot of Republicans don't vote, as many have said because they hate McCain, they would hand the election to whoever gets the Democratic nod.

[PostmodernProphet]

the thread was a bit weak on the detailed analysis.....

so here is something I prepared for another board...

Based on current polls, if the election were held today….

Swing states are Arkansas (6), Florida (27), Iowa (7), Maryland (10), Missouri (11), Ohio (20), Oregon (7), Pennsylvania (21), Washington (11), Wisconsin (10), and West Virginia (5)…….

The rest of the states will probably go the same way they did in 2000 and 2004…..the results from those states would give us McCain 210, unnamed Democrat 193, swing votes 135…..

To win, 270 votes are needed…..

based on current state by state polls, McCain would defeat Clinton in

Florida, Iowa, Maryland, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Washington and Wisconsin

Clinton would beat McCain in

West Virginia and Arkansas

Net result, McCain 304, Clinton 221, Swing 31

McCain would beat Obama in West Virginia and Arkansas

Obama would beat McCain in Oregon, Washington, Wisconsin, Missouri and Iowa

Net result, McCain 221, Obama 239, Swing 78

To win McCain would need at least three of these four Pennsylvania, Maryland, Florida, Ohio; Obama wins if he takes any two. Therefore, edge to Obama.

Important considerations for McCain is picking a VP that can pick up Florida, Ohio, or Pennsylvania…..

[4Reaganomics]

What are polls currently like in NJ? Not too long ago they had McCain dead even with Obama or Clinton

[jafar00]

None of that is correct. The UK is going to take us back because of our inability to elect a competent President, and Her Majesty hates Utah, which will be turned into a lake.
We're in trouble.
Read the facts, people; here it comes! Brush up on the curtseys and royal protocol:

John Cleese Letter to America

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

John Cleese


ROFL!!!! I have always loved this!
Purrs,
Pookie


John Cleese is a master of mirth indeed :)

[nevadamedic]

President nominee results will be :

1. Obama will win over Hillary, then
2. McCain will win over Obama

Why? By human face examination.

Hillary's eyes always look tired - means she is not energetic enough to be a president

Obama's lower inner lip sometimes looks purple.

Only McCain looks good. Although his cheek is little swollen, he is better among them.

8 March, 08


His inner lip is purple from the crack pipe he smokes. The Democrats really screwed up this year. They have two front runners who don't stand a chance in hell on winning the General Election. Now if Senator Dodd or Governor Richardson would have got the nomination the GOP would have been fucked. There is no way Obama or Hillary will win.[hr]
Reasons why I think McCain has the advantage.

Obama voters have not shown up in the real battleground states.

10% of republicans claim they would vote for Obama while 17% of democrats would vote for McCain

Conclusion, the electorate college system and McCain's ability to hold the base will be give him the presidency. (I pray)


The Electorate College will decide this election and I know since our society is not ready for a black man or a woman as President they will vote in favor of Senator McCain.