Tantrum at the supermarket

[Alonzo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pa2KvqGiIKo

[underdawg]

I wonder if a supersoaker would work on this kid? Or maybe just scream right back in his face.

[Professor]

I've babysat kids like that, and been in that situation. What I do is step over them and make it clear I am ignoring the behavior. I would either go to the other end of the eisle and make it look like I was going to leave (but not of course) or pick him up and put him in the cart.

[jafar00]

Ignoring them works, or even better, find something else to distract them from the tantrum.

[Truth_and_Power]

Of course there's the classic response. Take them out to the car and tan their hide to a nice pinkish hue and remind them that we don't behave like that in public. Then turn around and go back to the store, with weepy child in tow.

[BoogyMan]

Of course there's the classic response. Take them out to the car and tan their hide to a nice pinkish hue and remind them that we don't behave like that in public. Then turn around and go back to the store, with weepy child in tow.


Don't you just love the classics? Ignoring it just annoys you and empowers the child with the knowledge that behaving in that way will not be met with a punitive response.

Take him to the car and tan his hide.

[Alonzo]

When the kid is looking for attention or a response from you ignoring them works, as long as you don't eventually give in or the thing that's reinforcing them is something other than you.

That's how I always handle kids. It can get pretty bad but once they're tired out they tend not to do it again, or when they do it is progressively shorter each time until they don't really do it anymore.

Take them out to the car and tan their hide to a nice pinkish hue and remind them that we don't behave like that in public. Then turn around and go back to the store, with weepy child in tow.

Depending on where you live, that's also good way to get the cops involved as well.

[Truth_and_Power]

On behalf of all the other people who have the audacity to use the same store as you and your spoiled tantrum-throwing kid, I would like to thank you for ignoring the problem in the hopes that it will solve itself.[hr]
Depending on where you live, that's also good way to get the cops involved as well.


Yes, I'm well aware of the fact that cops are the only ones legally allowed to give out beatings.

[Alonzo]

On behalf of all the other people who have the audacity to use the same store as you and your spoiled tantrum-throwing kid, I would like to thank you for ignoring the problem in the hopes that it will solve itself.

Whenever I've had a kid throw a tantrum in the store I walk away and go into another aisle. Usually only takes about 20 or 30 seconds before I have a kid running after me.

[Muser]

There are tantrums and then there are tantrums; that particular tantrum certainly calls for a healthy, disciplinary smack or two on the bottom. Notice I didn't say "beat the child silly".

It's my belief that a child acting this badly, to this degree, likely hasn't had proper, consistent, non-violent, loving discipline to begin with.

[Phyxius]

Here's a simple technique that doesn't show on securtiy cameras... :thumbsup:


Grab the kid's earlobe and lift. Keep lifting 'till the child has to stand on his toes. I promise you, you will have his complete and undivided attention at that point.

I'm not with the "time out" crowd on this one. The kid needed his butt popped right then and there in front of everyone...

[potter]

Here's a simple technique that doesn't show on securtiy cameras... :thumbsup:


Grab the kid's earlobe and lift. Keep lifting 'till the child has to stand on his toes. I promise you, you will have his complete and undivided attention at that point.

I'm not with the "time out" crowd on this one. The kid needed his butt popped right then and there in front of everyone...



I agree. Parents lost the ability to properly discipline their children with the liberal movement in the 60's. Having grown up in the 50's and 60's to with an abusive parent I agree that protections were needed, but we went too far, and look where it's gotten us. Children, who even into adulthood who think the world should revolve around them.

[Deadshot]

We are supposed to teach our children how to behave, correct?

Can any of those willing to inflict pain upon a child, and yes - when they were under 5 I spanked my kids, give me an example of when it's "OK" to inflict physical punishment upon someone?

I know Law Enforcement can, but those circumstances are few and far between. Can your boss hit you? Can your spouse grab your ear lobe and lift? In a fender bender can the other driver hit you?

I ask because so many think things were better "way back when" when we'd hit kids more often. Yet if I were to hit my subordinate to correct a wrong behavior I believe that, not only would I be fired, but arrested as well.

Just trying to figure out the lesson here.

[exigent]

that vid makes me want to adopt a THIRD form of birth control. (we currently use two)

He needs to be shown the strength of the pimp-hand. It is strawwnnggg[hr]
We are supposed to teach our children how to behave, correct?

I ask because so many think things were better "way back when" when we'd hit kids more often. Yet if I were to hit my subordinate to correct a wrong behavior I believe that, not only would I be fired, but arrested as well.

Just trying to figure out the lesson here.


I guess it's different at home. I was smacked around a few times, no blood or bruises ever, but I learned respect at times when I had none. Employees should respect you from your status or accomplishments, if they dont, fire them.

[Alonzo]

Corporal punishment is associated with higher rates of violence in those people as adults.

Not surprising though, considering that corporal punishment teaches kids that hitting someone works to get people to stop whatever they're doing.

My favorite one is when the parents spank a kid for hitting another kid so they can teach them that violence isn't the answer.

[exigent]

when I got it, I always knew I had it coming. That never made it ok, but my behavior certainly warranted it, I was a spoiled hellraiser.

[Truth_and_Power]

Corporal punishment is associated with higher rates of violence in those people as adults.

Not surprising though, considering that corporal punishment teaches kids that hitting someone works to get people to stop whatever they're doing.

My favorite one is when the parents spank a kid for hitting another kid so they can teach them that violence isn't the answer.


Almost as good as when they arrest someone for kidnapping, eh?

[Deadshot]

Corporal punishment is associated with higher rates of violence in those people as adults.

Not surprising though, considering that corporal punishment teaches kids that hitting someone works to get people to stop whatever they're doing.

My favorite one is when the parents spank a kid for hitting another kid so they can teach them that violence isn't the answer.


Good post.

My favorite is when their kid hits another for "doing something wrong" and they try to explain to them how hitting someone for doing something wrong is the wrong thing to do.

Nothing like Homer hitting Bart for taking a cupcake. Then Bart hits Lisa for the same thing. Lisa tattles and Bart gets in trouble, by Homer, for hitting people...crazy:dizzy:

[Alonzo]

Corporal punishment is associated with higher rates of violence in those people as adults.

Not surprising though, considering that corporal punishment teaches kids that hitting someone works to get people to stop whatever they're doing.

My favorite one is when the parents spank a kid for hitting another kid so they can teach them that violence isn't the answer.


Almost as good as when they arrest someone for kidnapping, eh?


The commercial was for condoms, not really expected to get a serious discussion out of it but it appears to be forming.

If you want to be taken seriously best not be talking about kidnappers, serial killers and pedophiles for the same reason I'm not talking about parents who run their kids hands under boiling water or beat them until they bleed.

[potter]

Corporal punishment is associated with higher rates of violence in those people as adults.

Not surprising though, considering that corporal punishment teaches kids that hitting someone works to get people to stop whatever they're doing.

My favorite one is when the parents spank a kid for hitting another kid so they can teach them that violence isn't the answer.


But it didn't stop with physical abuse. Yelling at your kid became emotional abuse. Isolating your kid became emotional abuse. making your kid do without became neglect. It got to the point where a parent couldn't look cross eyed at their kid because all that kid had to do was scream abuse of any kind and the authorities would swoop down and ruin your life no questions asked.

[Buck Laser]

I agree. Parents lost the ability to properly discipline their children with the liberal movement in the 60's. Having grown up in the 50's and 60's to with an abusive parent I agree that protections were needed, but we went too far, and look where it's gotten us. Children, who even into adulthood who think the world should revolve around them.

Blaming a kid's bad behavior on the liberals of the 60s is about as lame an explanation as I've ever seen. Both my kids were born in the 60s and had no corporal punishment except for an occasional swat when they were in danger of hurting themselves. Today, they have kids ranging in age from 4 to 14, and none of them get corporal punishment, although my daughter's considering it for the 4 year old because he's a real risk taker. So far though, timeouts have worked exceptionally well.

Two things: kids have been having tantrums since the beginning of time. Second, every kid is different. I've seen that, just in the context of my own family.

But blaming the "liberalism of the sixties" is so simplistic that it sounds as it came from Rush or one of the other windbags from the right.

[BoogyMan]

Corporal punishment is associated with higher rates of violence in those people as adults.

Not surprising though, considering that corporal punishment teaches kids that hitting someone works to get people to stop whatever they're doing.

My favorite one is when the parents spank a kid for hitting another kid so they can teach them that violence isn't the answer.


But it didn't stop with physical abuse. Yelling at your kid became emotional abuse. Isolating your kid became emotional abuse. making your kid do without became neglect. It got to the point where a parent couldn't look cross eyed at their kid because all that kid had to do was scream abuse of any kind and the authorities would swoop down and ruin your life no questions asked.


Potter, this is one of the best posts in the thread. Thank you for posting this.

[Alonzo]

But it didn't stop with physical abuse. Yelling at your kid became emotional abuse. Isolating your kid became emotional abuse. making your kid do without became neglect. It got to the point where a parent couldn't look cross eyed at their kid because all that kid had to do was scream abuse of any kind and the authorities would swoop down and ruin your life no questions asked.

Potter, do you think any form of physical or emotional discipline should be acceptable? If not I think this simply reflects the paranoia of some people.

There's a big difference between making your kid sit quietly in the corner of the room for a while as punishment and locking them in the closet for days at a time. It's the same as the difference between a light slap of a kid and taking a belt and whipping them with it, or giving them a black eye.

In both cases one would be considered abuse and one wouldn't. But just because something isn't recommended, or tends to produce poor outcomes, doesn't mean it constitutes child abuse.

It's pretty bizarre when things such as time outs, removing whatever the child wants when they cause a problem etc. the very things most child psychologists advocate as effective, are being singled out as things labeled abuse by uninformed opponents of modern disciplinary techniques. And yes I mean uninformed, because there's a distinction between someone who advocates corporal punishment and someone who does so and then makes erroneous claims about how other non-corporal punishments are viewed.

[potter]

But it didn't stop with physical abuse. Yelling at your kid became emotional abuse. Isolating your kid became emotional abuse. making your kid do without became neglect. It got to the point where a parent couldn't look cross eyed at their kid because all that kid had to do was scream abuse of any kind and the authorities would swoop down and ruin your life no questions asked.

Potter, do you think any form of physical or emotional discipline should be acceptable? If not I think this simply reflects the paranoia of some people.

There's a big difference between making your kid sit quietly in the corner of the room for a while as punishment and locking them in the closet for days at a time. It's the same as the difference between a light slap of a kid and taking a belt and whipping them with it, or giving them a black eye.

In both cases one would be considered abuse and one wouldn't. But just because something isn't recommended, or tends to produce poor outcomes, doesn't mean it constitutes child abuse.

It's pretty bizarre when things such as time outs, removing whatever the child wants when they cause a problem etc. the very things most child psychologists advocate as effective, are being singled out as things labeled abuse by uninformed opponents of modern disciplinary techniques. And yes I mean uninformed, because there's a distinction between someone who advocates corporal punishment and someone who does so and then makes erroneous claims about how other non-corporal punishments are viewed.



Yes, I know the difference between what is abusive and what isn't. I was horribly abused both emotionally and physically. I didn't spank my children at all. (although when they got older I found the need to pop them upside the head on occasion).

The authorities on the other hand went wild. It's like they left their common sense in the morning toilet. While raising my kids in the 80's and 90's it was impossible to tell what was acceptible and what wasn't. It was ever evolving. Like I said, all a child had to do was say they were abused and the authorities would (very publicly) ruin your life first and ask questions later.

How many fathers were destroyed by petulant pissed off daughters who exacted revenge for discipline by claiming were touched? How many families were torn apart by a child claiming abuse because they were sent to their rooms? It broke my heart not to be able to even hug my children for fear they or someone around me would think I was touching them wrong and report me. As I stated before, common sense no longer even entered the picture. When my daughter reached puberty and became squirrelly as many girls do, I wouldn't allow touching at all.

The children were aware of this and they knew they had power over their parents. Many parents decided they couldn't fight it...and now we look at them and want to know why they didn't take responsibility...

I don't know how it is today, my kids are grown and on their own, but I am aware of many many fucked up children and families..... and I'm thinking it's only gotten worse...

[underdawg]

This kid was knocking items off the shelves, upsetting other customers. How long would someone have to ignore this brat before other people want to smack this child themselves or the store employees call the cops? We live in a time of severe political correctness. Many parents are afraid to disipline children out of fear of being accused of abusing their children. I grew up in a time where children were spanked. Personally, I do not see anything wrong with it as long as it is done to stop the immediate actions of a child. There are spankings and there are beatings and I suppose the two differ in degree and intent. In the old days a child acting like this would get spanked right in the store, but today the parent feels afraid to spank out of fear, the customers probably secretly wish someone would spank that brat, but would never say that out of political correctness, store employees are pissed because they have to clean up the mess, and the child gets the message that he has power and can act like this.

[potter]

I agree. Parents lost the ability to properly discipline their children with the liberal movement in the 60's. Having grown up in the 50's and 60's to with an abusive parent I agree that protections were needed, but we went too far, and look where it's gotten us. Children, who even into adulthood who think the world should revolve around them.

Blaming a kid's bad behavior on the liberals of the 60s is about as lame an explanation as I've ever seen. Both my kids were born in the 60s and had no corporal punishment except for an occasional swat when they were in danger of hurting themselves. Today, they have kids ranging in age from 4 to 14, and none of them get corporal punishment, although my daughter's considering it for the 4 year old because he's a real risk taker. So far though, timeouts have worked exceptionally well.

Two things: kids have been having tantrums since the beginning of time. Second, every kid is different. I've seen that, just in the context of my own family.

But blaming the "liberalism of the sixties" is so simplistic that it sounds as it came from Rush or one of the other windbags from the right.



Buck, I'm not really blaming the childrens behaviour on the liberals of the 60's, I'm just saying that the good intentions which started in the 60's (Dr. Spok) were perverted and turned into a negative.

[Alonzo]

This kid was knocking items off the shelves, upsetting other customers. How long would someone have to ignore this brat before other people want to smack this child themselves or the store employees call the cops? We live in a time of severe political correctness. Many parents are afraid to disipline children out of fear of being accused of abusing their children. I grew up in a time where children were spanked. Personally, I do not see anything wrong with it as long as it is done to stop the immediate actions of a child. There are spankings and there are beatings and I suppose the two differ in degree and intent. In the old days a child acting like this would get spanked right in the store, but today the parent feels afraid to spank out of fear, the customers probably secretly wish someone would spank that brat, but would never say that out of political correctness, store employees are pissed because they have to clean up the mess, and the child gets the message that he has power and can act like this.


IT WAS A COMMERCIAL FOR CONDOMS! No need to take it literally.

But often kids are simply looking for attention, especially when they don't get much for acting properly. For many kids punishment become the only real attention they get and it's better than nothing.

How many fathers were destroyed by petulant pissed off daughters who exacted revenge for discipline by claiming were touched? How many families were torn apart by a child claiming abuse because they were sent to their rooms? It broke my heart not to be able to even hug my children for fear they or someone around me would think I was touching them wrong and report me. As I stated before, common sense no longer even entered the picture. When my daughter reached puberty and became squirrelly as many girls do, I wouldn't allow touching at all.

A lot less than those kids who are afraid to say anything.

When I was working at my families sports card store in the 90's one of our employees didn't show up one day. The next day he came in with a black eye and we found out that his father had hit him and pushed him down the stairs.

The next day the police had gone to his house and arrested the father, who admitted to hitting and pushing him. The mother of one of the kids friend agreed to act as a foster parent to him. What happened after? They made the father take a course in parenting and, within about a month, they had placed him back with his father.

This was in Massachusetts, a place that has no qualms about intervening in family issues, not some rural community in the midwest, and they did essentially nothing.

It broke my heart not to be able to even hug my children for fear they or someone around me would think I was touching them wrong and report me.

If that really happened then that's sad and unfortunate. I don't really want to sold cold or harsh but I don't know how to say it otherwise. That was essentially your problem. The vast majority of fathers do that and to think that there is any realistic possibility (anythings possible but I mean enough to be concerned) is not something you can blame anyone but yourself for. It was an overreaction on your part and, if others are doing the same thing, then on theres as well.

[Professor]

Take him to the car and tan his hide.


When you are watching other people's kids you don't have that option.

Zo, your right that you often see negative behavior as a way to get attention. I will praise a kid when the behave, just like I will admonish when they misbehave. I also make sure I make an accurate report to the parents in front of them. This way they know they are accountable for their actions and mom and dad will hear about what they do, good or bad.

[underdawg]

You are right , it is a commercial, but I see kids like that at my grocery store all the time. It is times like that when I am thankfull for being gay.

[PatrickHenry]

There's always waterboarding..(joke)

Out of control children should be restrained with as much force as required to keep them from doing property crimes.

I say you pick the boy up and pin his arms to his sides while walking out of the store.

Then you give him only bread and water for a couple of days..(joke)

That's why I like giving my kids things...I have stuff they like, that I can take away for misbehavior. Like IPod, like GameBoy, like icecream... heh.

Mean ol' Uncle Patrick...

[Pookie]

LOL PH! Waterboarding -- !! I almost blew my root beer out of my nose when I saw that!
Well, I'm a liberal, and you better believe I spanked my kid and punished her when she misbehaved. Now she's a liberal, and spanks my grandson.
Love them family traditions. Vote liberal, spank the kids.
The only place I went wrong with my daughter was for some reason she doesn't like cats. Maybe because all of mine always used her for a scratching post.
Purrs,
Pookie

[potter]

The only place I went wrong with my daughter was for some reason she doesn't like cats. Purrs,
Pookie



She probably inherited the gene that cat lovers seems to be missing..... :nana:

[Pookie]

Hahahahahaha!
And your little dog, too.
Purrs,
Pookie